


Subpar Smush Broas Mishan Forum God 2: The REEL Sekwel! LAUREN U R DUM

by PrincessAmerica



Category: Super Smash Brothers
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-29
Updated: 2014-10-12
Packaged: 2018-02-15 07:45:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 41
Words: 26,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2221149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincessAmerica/pseuds/PrincessAmerica
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I finelly got my passwerd bak from Lauren and I goten my acont agen and channed the paswerd 2 wat it was b4 so Lauren cant do meen lesban stuf in my acont liek wat she did 2 my Atak on Titen storey. This storey is the reel sekwel 2 my furst storey the otter sekwal didant hapen. Im writan this becuz the nude Smash Bro gaem will be hear in oktaver.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. CHAP 1 SARAS NEW ADVENTUR

**Author's Note:**

> Thes is the firt chaptar of my storey. Oregonally i wuz guna hav Mart be the on who cums in my scole buthan I didant finesh writen this yestarday and than a noo caractor was putin the gaem today. I think its a sine frum God to maek him my bofrend in thes storey.
> 
> ALSO LAUREN U R DUM!!! AND I SAWED A PICTAR OF UR NEW GURLFREN ON THE INTRANET AND EVAN THOS SHES NOT FAT (LIEK I WAS HOPPING) SHE DOSE HAS A RELLY BIG NOES SO I THANK SHE MITE BE JEWASH!!! I CAN SEE WY UR STIL USEN EVUL MAJAK 2 PUT LESBAN THOTS IN MY HED AND TRY TO TURD ME IN2 A LESBAN BECUZ IM SO MUK PRITTER THAN THE GURL UR DATEN NOW!!! BUT IT WONT WERK IM STRATE!!!

CHAP 1: SARAS NOO ANVENTOR

I was siten in my meth class and my techar Mr Sandarsan was bein reely meen. Liek jus 2day in reel lief aksed be a queston abot wy my handwritan on my homwerk is difrant frum on my furst quiz of the scole yer (wich startad thes weak) and also wy i do relly wel on homewurk but not on the quoz. I cant tel him that my parants do my homwork 4 me becuz Barak Obaba maed haven ur parrots do ur homewrok ilegal. Barak Obana prolly maed that law so id fale hi scule and hav 2 get a pore persan job and liv on welfar. But teh joaks on him becuz my parants r so ric that ican liv on inharatans 4evar and wil nevar be a lazey pore persan evan if i dont graduat hi skool (wich i wil becuz im reely smart). Also Mr Sandarsan is blak so he prolly votad 2 Oboma and wants 2 taek munny frum my famely adn otter hard-werking job craters 2 putin Obomacar so that pore pepole wil get helth car they dont deserv becuz they didant ern it.  
So aneyway Mr Sandarsan was bein meen 2 me by callen on me 2 anser a queston frum the homwork that my parants did 4 me. Butthan alof a sudan the dore to the clasrom opaned. I thot it mite be God lik last tim but it wasant. It was a britesh guy with blod hare who had a majek sord caled the Morondo. It was Sholk.  
"Sara u ned 2 blody cum with me!" he sed, "Lauren lerned the secrete way in2 hevan wen she wuz pretendin 2 be ur frend. And she tolled Satin and Oboma and they concurred hevan and captared God and Jesas!!! Its impassible 4 God and Jesas to turd gay becuz they cant sin but if there captared than Satin rools hevan. U ned 2 cum 2 Nentindo wrold agen to fined ot how 2 saev them."  
"Ok" i sed and i gotted ot of my seet.  
"SIT UR FYNE WITE A** DOWN SARA OR ILL BUSTA CAPE IN UR A**" sed Mr Sandarsan and he puled ot a gun and holded it on its sid ganestar stile.  
"No u bloddy wont u wankar (I lerned that thats in insalt in the langage they speek in Briten so Sholk isant gonna cal me a wankar)" Sholk sed.  
"UR KRAKEN A** BETAR GES AGEN!" Mr Sandarsan sed. He shat a ballet at Sholk but Sholk can c the futur and he dogged it.  
"AW HELL NAW!!!" Mr Sandarsan shat moar ballets at Sholk butt Sholk dogged tham 2. Than we herd sirans and the polise came all over the room.  
"YO F*** THE POLITE DOG!!!" Mr Sandarsan sed.  
"Mr Sandarsan u hav a warant ot 4 ur arest 4 rappen wite womans and 4 sellin drug" the polaris chef sed.  
"ULL NEVAR TAEK ME ALIV HOMELY!!!" Mr Sandarsan sed.  
Mr Sandarsan gotted in2 a gunfite with the polise and they shat him ded. Than the polise laft the rome and the otter stoodants gotted ot boks 4 studey hal becuz we cant hav matt class if r matt teecher is ded.  
"Sara u ned 2 hurray" Sholk sed "God and Jesas stil ned 2 be saev!"  
"rite" i sed "also ho did u no abot God and Jesas bean captar?"  
"Well im Britesh and the Queen of Briten is teeming up with Harey Potar to try to maek Amerka in2 Britesh colons agen. Also Harey Potar tot Lauren the majek that shes usen 2 try 2 tune u in2 a lesban. Butt im a gud Britesh persan who wants 2 stap the Queen and Harey Potar and Satin and Obaka and Lauren" Sholk sed "Im prolly gunna run 4 King of Briten in the nex elecshan 2 maek Briten a gud plase wer everone is Christen and we no that Amerka is betar than us. Also u can be my gurlfrend so that u can be Queen and also so everone will no ur not a lesban."  
"Ok" I sed. So Me and Sholk wented back 2 teh Smahs Manshan 4 an advenitur. Wat wil hapen next? Fined ot next cahpter!!!


	2. CHAP 2: NEW PEPOLE AT TEH MANSHON

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara meats teh new carectors and the oled ons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im so gald that its satarday so i dont hav 2 be in skool. I toled my dad that i was wory abot failen and he sad it was ok becuz he donats lotsa munny 2 my scool and can tel the prinsipol and teh skool bored that he wont donat unles my grad is chang 2 passen grad if im failen. He sed he did this for my bruther a few tims wen he wuz in hi skool and the skool alweys gived him wat he aksed. Im so hapey im not gona fale.

CHAP 2: NO PAPAL AT THE MANSHAN

Me and Sholk went 2 Nentendo wolrd and wer otsid the manshan.  
"U ned 2 meat al the pepole hera" Sholk sed.  
"I alredy met moast of tham last tim" I sed.  
"Wel i wasant hear yet and so wer a buncha otter pepole so u ned 2 met tham" Sholk sed.  
Sudanly Mark waked ot of the manshan adn ther was a gurl withim who loked kinda liek him. She wuz relly pritty and had long bloo hare.  
"Hi agen Sara" March sed "this is my sitar Lucina."  
"Hi Lucina im Sara" I sed "ur relly pritty."  
"Tanks r pritty 2" Lucina sed. Also Mark and Lucinas dad wasant Snaek. It wuz sum bloo-hared guy who got beated up by Capten Failcan (who i gess is the badguy of there gaems). C im doen reserk of thes caractors.  
I remambered last tim i wuz otsid the manshan and meeted a gurl and she cal me pritty.  
"Ur not a lesban, r u?" I sed.  
"No ima Christen!" Lucina seemd made that i acused her of bein a lesban.  
"Thats grate. Im sorey i akused u of bein a lesban" I sed.  
"Its ok i no u ned 2 be carefol or lesbans will rap u" Lucina sed, "butt i cant be a lesban becuz i hav a bofrend his naem is Roban."  
"O ya that remineds me i hav a gurlfrend now her naem is also Roben. The 2 Robans r twin brothur an sistar butt there parants wernt vary kreatev with naems. We cal them Goy Roben and Gurl Roben so taht it isant confusen" Mark sed "also sens i hav a difrant gurlfrend we cant dat."  
"Thats ok Sholk is my bofrend now" I sed.  
"Grate" Mart sed.  
I new Lucina and me wode be grate frends. Adn weall wented in2 manshan 2 meat everone eels.  
Tha new pepole in teh Manshan wer intrestin. I meated Lucinas bofrend Buy Roban and Marks gurlfrend Gorl Roban. Ther was Mageman who had a canen on his arm liek Samas so maybee hes Samas litol bruther (hoapfely he isant gay). Ther was Roselena who loked alot liek Peech. Ther was also Viloger and Wifit Tranner and ther wer boy an girl vershans of bothof them. Ther was Pakman and Grenigga who wer poakmons so they beleeved in evilushon and not God so i didant maek frends with them. Ther was the Mi Fitters and ther were three of tham with difrant wepons. Ther was Pollutena who is an angle liek Pete butt shes his bos or sumthin so i gess shes a moar impotent angle. And ther was Litol Mike who is a boxcar. Ther miteof ben otter pepole 2 but the gaem isnt relees yet so idont no abot tham if ur reeden this aftar the gaem is ot pritend i sed the otter pepole wer there. I also notesed al the otter pepole frum b4 wer there. Ther wer sum difrances liek Icke was moar musklar now (maybee he was sad that Lauren was lyen 2 him al along wen tehy wer daten and she was reely a lesban so he werked ot alot becuz thats how reel mans deel with sadnas. Thats the resin hes mor musklar in thes storey).  
Sudanly Mastar Hanned flyed up.  
"Sara ur bak" he didant seem hapey 2 see me becuz hes a jurk who lissans 2 teh librul medea and beleevs al teh gud thins i do r ron.  
"Do u stil hav my paparwerk frum last tim" I sed.  
"No i throwed it ot becuz idont liek u" Mister Han sed.  
"Ur Meen!" I sed.  
"Its ok I new thes wode hapaned becuz ican c the futur so I alredy filed ot ur paparwerk agen 4 u" Sholk sed "u jus ned 2 sine it."  
"Yay" I sed. I sined the paparwerk and ther was noting Mastar Hen cold do 2 kep me otta tha Manshan.  
"Ucan shar a rome with Lucina i gess" Matterhorn sed.  
"Grate!" I sed.  
"Cum with me" Lucina sed. So we wented 2 her room wichwas also my room now. I new theens wode be grate and id be able to saev God and Jesas.


	3. CHAP 3: SUMTHIN IS RON

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara fites a battal with Capten Falkne butt thins dont go accordion 2 plane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I see sum libruls r hear 2 say bad thins abot my storey agen. U libruls sholdnt doo that butt i thenk moast pepole who say my storey is bad r bean pade by Barak Obema (prolly with taxpayar dolers, 2) too maek me lok bad. Jus remamber that evan tho ur getan alota munny now ur stil gona go2 hell wen u die becuz of this.
> 
> Also 2moro is laber day so i get a tree day weakand. Tahts grate, butt i maye hav treble updat thes storey 2moro becuz on my mom wants me to leev the hose and hane ot with on of my frends 2moro wile my dads at werk. Maybee shes planen sumthin for my birtday (witch is wendsday! Im so exited! Im gona be fiften yers odd).

CHAP 3: SOMETHEN IS RONG

I was sleapen in Me and Lucinas bed wen sudanly the lodspekar in the rome startad talken with Mastur Hands vois.  
"Sara u ned 2 cum 2 teh arina 2 fite Capten Falken" Mastar Honda sed.  
Me and Lucina waked up.  
"U ned 2 fite Capton Futon?" Lucina sed "u ned to be carfol Capten Falcin is dangaros. He beeted up my fathur and alos me and my bruther and the Robans and Iek neded 2 teem up lotsa tims in r gaems to stop his evul planes."  
"Its ok" ised "i hav powars frum God that i can us 2 defet him."  
"tahts cool" Lucina sed.  
So i wented 2 the areena 2 fit Capital Falcone. It wuz a 1-on-1 fite on teh fecal defenestration stag tahts teh stag withot anethin expect the flor 2 standon. Wen the mach beganed Capten Falken runed up2 me.  
"FALKIN..." he sed. I new he wuz gona us his Folcan Pinch atak witch wold reely hurt me if I didant us my powars frum God 2 activat my final smosh. So i tred 2 do that BUTT NOTING HAPANED!!!  
"... PONCH!!!" Kappa Vulcan sed. I wuz hit by teh atak and flyed of the stag and lots 1 of my liefs. I repared on a platfoam abov the stag butit vaneshed.  
"ONO!" I sed "HOW CANI WIN THES FITE WITHOT MY GOD POWARS!!!"  
"Dont giv up Sara!" Lucina sed "I beleev in u!"  
"Ya I beleev in u 2" Sholk sed "defeet taht bluddy wankar Capton Falcan."  
Sudanly a basbol bat apared on the stag and I garbed it. I did that theen wer u start glowen with the basbol bat and than hit reely hard. That cause Capten Falken 2 fly of the stag and los a lief so we wer both evan. Than I ussed mor items to keep up with him until we both onely had 1 lief left. Sudanly, a smash bell apared.  
"MWA HA HA!!!" Captan Falcan sed "Im gona us thes 2 beet u!!!"  
He startad hitten the Smash Bal 2 try 2 getit to brake. Butthan a fan apared and i throwed it to knock Capten Falcen away frum the smash baal and braked it myslef. I wuz finaly abel 2 us my finale smash witch i did and it mad me tun in2 an angle liek b4 and I noked Capton Falkan of the stag agen and wan the mach.  
"Yay u 1" Lucina and Sholk runned up 2 me wen the fite was ovar.  
"Ya but theres treble!" I sed "my God powars r gon!!!"  
"Ono! That must be becuz God is captar by Satin" Lucina sed.  
"Bluddy Hall!" Sholk sed "who had u defeet Satin and saev God and Jesas withot ur god powars!"  
"I dont no ill hav 2 thenk of sumthin" I sed.  
Sudanly tho a reely big evul guy flyed up. It wuz the evul guy frum the end of the vido that shoed that Sholk wode be in Smash Broas. I dont no wat his naem is or wat he loks liek, butt if u no who he is than he loks exectly liek his dose in Sholks gaem. Al i no is taht he is relly big (becuz he has a big shado) and hecan fly.  
"Ono! Its teh bad guy frum my gam!" Sholk sed. Accept he sed the bad guys naym becuz he new it.  
"MwaHaHa! Kween Lazerbath and Harey Potar sent me 2 bluddy captar Sara so that Lauren can rap her!" The Bad Guy sed.  
"Ur a bluddy wankar!" Sholk sed.  
"No ur a bluddy wankar!" the bad guy sed becuz they wer both Britesh.   
Shark runed at teh badguy and tred 2 hit him with the Tornado sord butt the badguy noked the majak sord awey and then hit Sholk 2 nok him awey in a difrant director. Than Lucina tred 2 fite him butt he beet her 2. I new if i didant do sumthin the badguy wode win soi runed ovar and grabed the Monsanto frum the grond and hit the badguy a buncha tims withit.  
"Stop doen that u wankar!" he sed. Butt son it wuz cleer i wode beet him so he gived up and flyed awey. Lucina and Sholk gotted up and I gived Sholk his sord bak.  
"Ono so the bad guy from my gaem is teemin up with all teh otter evul pepole! This is bluddy turible!" Sholk sed.  
"I no rite!" Lucina sed "we ned 2 thenk of sumthin."  
"Maybe wecan thenk easer if we go get sum fode. Ucan breen ur bofrend and ur brothar and ur brothars gurlfrend" I sed.  
"Ok" Lucina sed.  
So Lucina and Me and Sholk and Mart and the 2 Robans wented 2 chikfela 2 talk abot wat we shold do 2 fite the evul pepole. Also we donated extar munny 2 tha chickfela so they cold stop teh gay ajenda.


	4. CHAP 4: MATTEL FASE ATEKS AGEN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meatball Fake trys to captar Sara agen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tanks 2 teh pepole who tolded me the nam of teh badguy wuz Motel Face. I luked 4 a pictar ofim and sawed taht he wuz a reely big evul ribbit. He mite be the scarest villan in thes storey.
> 
> Also thes chaptar wil prolly be shart becuz im writen this at my frend Chloes hoes. Chloe is a reel frend unliek Lauren becuz Chloe isant a lesban. She wants me to finash writen this quackly so that wecan us the commuter 2 go on the intranet and lok at cloths. Chloe lieks to pik ot pritty cloths and than tells me to imagen her wering tham. I alweys imagen her bean rilly pritty so than ill bye tham 4 her with a credat card that my parants gived 2 me. Than wen the cloths cum 2 her hose shell invit me ovar to see her wering tham (evan if its a pritty dress that i woldnt get 2 c her were very ofen or sum underwhere that shed normelly hav otter cloths ovar) and alli hav 2 do 2 see her luking grate in knew cloths is giv her $200. And she tels me im pritty wenever i giv her munny so i no she isant taken my munny 2 be lazey liek a pore persan wode. The beast part isthat shes not a lesban shes a reel frend who isant tryen to rap me.
> 
> I told my mom 2 bye me Sholks gaem 4 my burthday b4 she told me i had 2 leev the hose 2 go2 Chloes hose. She sad she wud buyit butt it mite not cum until aftar my birtday. Sins the male is runned by the govarmant i think thes meens Barak Oboma is treyen 2 ruan my bithdya. Hes a rilly meen!!!

CHAP 4: MENTAL FASE ATECKS AGEN

It wuz the naxt day and I wuz stil scarred becuz Medal Face mite atak 2 try to captar me so Lauren wode rap me. Me and Lucina wented 2 the mall neerest 2 teh smash manshan butt r bofrends didant cum becuz shaping 4 cloths is a gurl thin. We wented 2 Victoras Secrat and bot some sexay langeray. Aftar we wer dun with that we wented 2 teh chikfela in the fud cort and bot sum lanch frum there.  
"Hey i hav an idea" Lucina sed "let so c a movey!"  
"Grate!" I sed. We sawed a reely gurly romans movey (i dont no if the movey theturs in Nintando wrold wode be showen the sam moveys as the ons in the reel world, butt i asoom thered be at leest on romans movey playen). Ther wer sum moar manely moveys ther 2 butt we didant see tham becuz lesbans liek manly thins and Me and Lucina arnt lesbans. Ons the movey wuz dun we desided it wuz tim 2 go bak 2 teh manshan.  
Sudanly, wen we wer walken bak 2 teh manshan METOL FASE FLEWED UP!!!  
"Ono!" I sed.  
"This is reely bad!" Lucina sed.  
"Mwa! Ha! Ha! Im bak u bluddy wankars!" Mattel Face sed. I puled ot a gun i had becuz i obey the secant commandment of teh constantinople wich sez u hav 2 bare arms (evan tho Oboma wants 2 maek guns illeagle becuz hes a librul). I shat a buncha ballets at Medal Fase butt hes a robat so ballets cant hurt him. Lucina tred 2 hit him with her sord but it didant hurt him ether!  
"U bluddy wankars cant beet me! Now im guna captar Sara and taek her back 2 Britan were Lauren is waten 2 bluddy rap her!" Metol Fase sed. I tred 2 get awey butt he gabed me and started flyen awey carryen me. I was captar!  
"NO LET ME GOO!!!" I SED.  
"No u wankar im taken u to teh bluddy royel palas of Briten were Lauren is waten 2 rap u!" Metil Fase sed.  
"Don't worry!" I herd Lucina yel aftar me "Im guna tel Sholk wat hapan and were gona get a buncha pepole to rescu u!"  
So Mettle Fade flyed me to Briten and Lauren was waten otside the royel palas. Her new gurlfrend Kaety wuz ther 2 and i alredy new that becuz i cold see her ginormes noes evan wen i wuz a hundrad mials awey frum teh palas. Wen we gotted ther Medal Fase put me on the grond.  
"Gud werk Mattel Face" Lauren sed "now Me and Kati r guna rap u Sara!"  
"No!" I sed. I runned awey and escap. Howevar ther wuz stil treble becuz I WUZ TRAP IN BRITAN!!!


	5. CHAP 5: LUCINA GOS BAK 2 MANSHAN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara iz trap in Briten. How will she surviv?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I saw alota pepole sayen I dont no abot Briten so duren skool i pade a nurd 2 giv me 3 sesans of a dokamentry abot wat lief in Briten is liek, and thers a forth sesan 2 butt u cant bye it yet u hav 2 wach it onlin butt the dokementry is on HBO and my parants wont let me wach it becuz theres nakad pepole init. So i cald Chloe and she sed shed let me hav her famlys paswerd 4 the onlin HBO 4 my burthday if I giv her sum munny. So that provs shes a reel frend. The dokamentry is cald Gaem off Throns in case uv seenit and wen im dun watchen it ill no alot abot wat lief in Briten is like. Butt 4 now the storey will fokus on Lucina tryen 2 goto Briten to saev me.

CHAP 5: LUCINA GOS BAK 2 MANSHAN

Rite aftar Sara got captar Lucina knowed wat she had 2 do. She runned as fast as she cold 2 go bak to teh manshan. She noed she had 2 find Sholk and tel him that Motel Face captared Sara. She fond Sholk in teh liven rome with Mark and Ick and Lenk and Guy Roben and a buncha otter guys. He wuz watchen fotball and not sockar witch they cal fotball in Briten but reel, American fotball, witch is illegol 2 wach in Briten.  
"This is so muk bluddy betar than wat we wach in Briten!" Sholk sed.  
"Sholk!" Lucina sed.  
"Lucina wy r u hear. Gurls sholdnt wach fotball expect 4 uglay lesbans" Mart sed. This wuz sumthin my bruther Josh used 2 tel me alot wenever I came in the rome wen he wuz watchen fotball. He left 4 collage a yeer ago aftar he gradate frum hi skool butthan he fayal in collage becuz of librul byas in hyur ejaculation butthan my mom convins my dad 2 bye Josh a hose on the otter sied of the stat so he livs ther now insted of withus.  
"Ino butt I ned 2 tel Sholk sumthin impotent" Lucina sed "Sara was captar by Mattel Fase!!!"  
"Ono thats bluddy turible!" Sholk sed "aftar the gaem we ned 2 maek a plan 2 saev her."  
"Ok" Lucina sed. Ons the fotball gaem was ovar Sholk was reddy to halp Lucina cum with a plane. And so wuz allof the otter Christens.  
"Ok so Briten is relly far awey frum Nentindo World so we ned 2 fine sum way 2 get ther" Sholk sed "and its suronded by oshan so we cant taek a car."  
"I hav an idea" Maryo sed "I hav gokarps that can fly an stuf frum the Maryo Carp gaems. We can getin those and driv them to Briten."  
"Butt ther not fast enuff 2 get ther b4 Metel Fase givs Sara 2 Lauren and Lauren raps her" Sholk sed. Sholk didant no I escap.  
"Gud pint" Maryo sed.  
"If onley Snack wuz reely my dad then we cold rid in the helacoptar frum his finale smash" Mark sed. I dont no if Marht and Lucinas reel dad frum teh friar album gaems has a hellocopter or note. I dont thenk he dose.  
"Ino!" Girl Roben had an ide "Capten Falken has a car that gose reely reely fats."  
"Ya but hes evul hell nevar letus us it" Sholk sed.  
"We can steel it" Guy Roben sed.  
"Butt wont he no were dong that?" Palootina sed.  
"Thats a problam" Sonec sed.  
"Butt i no wat wecan do" Lucina sed "we can talk 2 Mastar Hand and get him 2 skedul a buncha maches with Capten Futon so hes 2 busey 2 notas his car is gon."  
"But watif Mastar Hand doesnt do thes" Iek sed "He mite not want 2 help us becuz he hats Sara."  
"We dont hav 2 tel him wy we wanna fite Capton Failcan" Sholk sed.  
"Ok this is a grate plan" March sed "My sistar and Sholk can steel Captan Falkins car and go 2 Briten and saev Sara wile the rest of us fite Capton Falcun alota tims."  
So allof the Christens went 2 Mastur Hens ofess and told him that allof them expect Lucina and Sholk wantad to fite Capten Falken a buncha tims.  
"This seems suspishus" Mastor Han sed "how doi no u Christens arent planen sumthin intolerent?"  
"Becuz we arnt" Sholk sed.  
"Ok. Just fial ot teh paperwurk to chaleng Capten Felkan 2 a fite" Mister Hen sed.  
So the Christens expect 4 Lucina and Sholk startad writen the paparwerk wile Lucina and Sholk pland 2 steel Kapton Falkens car.


	6. CHAP 6: JERNEY 2 YUROP

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucina and Sholk steel Kapten Falkuns car and driv 2 Yurop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My mom uselly lets me pritend 2 be sock on my burthday and stey hom frum skool so thats wat hapan. Sholks gaem didant cum becuz Obana dosent want me to playit i gess and tolded teh mael pepol not to breen it yet evan tho my mom ordared it 2 dyas ago! Butt Oboma didant reely ruan my burthday compliantly becuz thus gived me moar tim 2 wach epsods of gam of throns. I wach the antire furst sesan and teh furst 3 epsods of secant sesan. Their r lotsa nakid womans init BUTT TAHT NOTE WY I LEIK IT BECUZ IM NOTA LESBAN!!! I lerned sum thins abot Briten liek evan tho pepol otsid Briten call teh captal of Briten Londun i gess in Briten tehy calit "Keens Landen" (witch i gess sonds kinda liek Londun). Alos tehy cal Britash Congrass teh "smell consul" and teh ledar of congrass is teh "Hen off eht Keen" (I thot the Hond off the Kine was liek the Britash vershan of vise presadent butt wen the keen dyed that Jofri kid becum keen insted of Nad Stork so i gess he wuz Vise King). And than tehy ned 2 held big erection 4 noo keen, expect in Briten elecshans they dont voet insted they hav a big war to deside who next keen is (I wish we did taht in America becuz conservativs hav moar guns than libruls so wed alweys win. By the wey they dont hav the secant amendmant in Briten so sum librul taked all there guns awey and everone fites with sords an stuff. Also tehy rid hoarses insted of cars becuz Briten is suronded by oshan and u cant driv cars ovar waiter so no cars evar gotted their). On off teh candidats 4 keen of Briten is gay so i hop he lose. Also I notased ther was a big wal in Briten, and i thenk America shuld get on liek it expect on r sothurn boarder to keep ot teh Mexakans.

CHAP 6: JERNEY 2 YUROP

Lucina an Sholk watted 4 Capten Falken 2 leev the garag off Manshan so taht they cold steel his car. Kapten Futon wuz washen his car wen sudanly Mastur Hands vois cum thro lowdspekar.  
"Capten Falkan u ned 2 fite Mart in arina" Mastar Hond sed.  
"Ok" sed Capten Falken so he lfet garag of Manshan 2 goto arina.  
"Nos r chans" sed Sholk. Sholk gotted in2 drivars skeet becuz hes a man and mens no moar abot cars tehn womens. Lucina gotted in passanger seet. Sholk turd on car and driv ot of garag and onto rode.   
Lucina turd on teh rado off car and startad lissen 2 Fansy by Igey Azala. Im uselly nut alowed 2 lissan 2 taht kined of muzak butt my dad sez its ok becuz shes wite. Alos she sez lotsa reely smart thins on twitar. Sholk and Lucina taked teh rode on2 hiwey and drivd alon until tehy saw teh exat 2 teh reel world and gotted of hiway and tehy wer in teh reel world.  
"Ono!" Lucina sed "were in teh reel world butt were in America not Briten! Kapten Felcans car cant get ovar teh oshan 2 Briten!"  
"Tahts a problam" sed Sholk. They loked arond 4 a solushan. Than they sawed a baot at a dok neerbye.  
"Lets rid baot 2 Briten" sed Lucina. So Sholk drived Capten Falkens car onto teh boot. Butt tehy realiz 2 laet that teh bot wasant goen 2 Briten it wuz goen 2 Frans.  
"Ono!" sed Sholk. He wented 2 capten off baot.  
"Wats the problam" sed capten.  
"We dont want 2 goto Frans we want 2 goto Briten" sed Sholk.  
"Well we cant do anythin abot that becuz we alredy setted sale" sed capten.  
"Butt my gurlfrend is captar by Mattel Fase and he takes her 2 be rap by Lauren and Kairi who r lesbans!!!" Sholk sed.  
"Butt im alredy sale 2 Frans I cant chang distraction nao" sed capten.  
"Pleese capten guy Saras my beest frend u ned 2 halpus sav her" sed Lucina.  
"Sorey i cant" sed capten. He wuz a reely meen capten.  
So teh baot wented 2 the Frans and Lucina and Sholk gotted of baot in Capten Felkans car.  
"Now we ned 2 fined otter baot frum Frans 2 Briten" sed Sholk.  
"I haev otter idea" sed Lucina. then she yell "gesunhite!"  
"WE SURANDAR!!!" sed everone in Frans wen tehy herd Lucina speck Germen. So Lucina wuz teh Quine of Frans now.  
"Ok now wecan invad Briten with milatry off Frans" sed Lucina.  
"Butt Frans is reely week and tehy alweys loose and surandar" sed Sholk.  
"Taht isa reely big problam" sad Lucina.  
"I hav idea" sed Sholk "lets get teh Germens 2 halpus."  
So Lucina and Sholk gotted in Capten Felkans car agen and drov 2 leedar of Germenys hose.  
"We ned u to helpus invad Briten" sed Lucina.  
"Nine" sed ledar off Germeny witchis ho they sey no in Germeny prolly becuz 9 and 0 ar rite naxt to eachotter on teh keybored and foreners r 2 stooped 2 no teh difrance.  
Butthan Sholk gotted ot off car and teh ledar of Germeny sawed he had blond hare and bloo eeys.  
"We cant say no 2 teh mastar rase!" sed ledar of Germeny "u r teh supreem Furor of Germeny nao."  
"Hile Sholk!" sed all teh Germens.  
"Also Laurens gurlfrend Kaeti loks liek a jew" sed Sholk.  
"Yay! We luv killen thos!" sed teh Germens. So nao taht Lucina wuz ledar of Frans and Sholk wuz ledar of Germeny tehy wer redy 2 plan there invashun of Briten.


	7. CHAP 7: SARA ENTARS A JOST

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aftar escap frum Lauren and Katey and Mattel Fase Sara entars a jost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I c Obema is stil payen libruls 2 insalt my storey. Wuts wors is taht alota tham r foreners so Epona isant evan crating Amurican jibs by doen this (nut taht Obaba lieks maekin Amerken joebs becuz he gets rad of them with his hi texas on teh job craters liek my dad and also wtih job-killen regalatons). 
> 
> So aneyway I wantad my mom 2 let me stay hoem agen so i cold watch moar gam of throns (off coarse I didant tel her im watchen that becuz my parants dont want me 2 wach that), butt she mad me goto skool. My mom iz so meen! Butt aneyway this tim i wuz watchen and teh gay guy who wantad 2 be keen is ded now. He wuz kill by his brothar Stains and a red-hared ladey. I remamber heerin a lon tim ago that teh vershan of Christenaty they hav in Briten is caled teh Chirch off Inglend. I gess in teh chirch off Engold tehy cal God "Rylor" becuz thats wut the red-hared ladey keeped callen him. And than teh gay guys brothar tred 2 be keen and I wantad him 2 win becuz he kild the gay guy and wuz a Christen (even if he wuz teh Britash vershun of Christen witches a litol weerd) butt than he lose a big batol at teh and of sesan 2. Butt hes stil aliv so maybee he can be keen latur. Thats ho far i am rite now. Im getin board focasin on pepol otter than me in this storey nao so Im goen bak 2 me and hopfully i no enuff abot Briten now (and ill still wach the rest of Gaem off Throns so my naxt chaptars in Briten wil be evan moor akurat)

CHAP 7: SARA ENTARS A JOST

Aftar I runned awey frum Lauren and Kayti and Motel Fave I fond I wuz lost in Briten. I sneeked thro a feald were pheasants wer picken craps becuz tehy wer 2 lazey 2 be nobels. Sumwher in the feld I gotted turd arond and startad walken bak teh way i cum butt i didant no that until i wuz bak in Keens Landen, teh crapital of Briten. Wen I gotted ther i sawed a sine taht sed "Bluddy jost 2day 2 win a bluddy trip 2 Harey Potars skool u wankars." I desided ifi entared the jost and winned Id get 2 go2 Harey Potars skool and kill him so he coldnt teech Lauren moar majek to tune me in2 a lesban. Butt than i sawed the rools and onely nites cold entar the jost and gurls coldnt bee nites.  
"Ono!" I sed 2 miself.  
"Nead sum halp?" I hurd a Britash guy sed. I turnd arond and sawed it wuz Stanos frum Gaem of Throns!  
"Hi Stanass how did u no i wuz hear" I sed.  
"Teh red-hared ladey can see the futur by luken in fiar" Stains sed. Tahts on of the powars of teh Chirch of Eenland. I wondar if thats alos how Sholk can c tha futur.  
"So u no I want 2 entar the jost" I sed.  
"Ya and I brot sum armoire so noone wil no ur a gurl. And alos i brotted a hoarse becuz u well ned on of thos in teh jost" sed Santos. So Stinass gived me teh stuf and leev. I putted on teh armar and gotted on tha hoarse. I rided 2 wer the jost wuz.  
"'ello guvnuh this is were teh bluddy jost is" sed teh persan at teh gaet "wut iz ur bluddy naem."  
I new I had 2 cum up with a Britash naem and it had 2 bee a guy naem or eels they wodant let me in the jost.  
"My naem is Sur Jaems of Hose Bond" I sed.  
"That is a very bluddy Britash naem butt ur vois dosant sond Britash" sed tha gaet persan. I new I had 2 do moor 2 prov I wuz Britash.  
"Im vary bluddy Britash u wankar!" I sed.  
"Ok i gess u r bluddy Britash" sed gaet persan. So I rided my hoarse in2 teh jost plase. I gotted a speer and startad riden my hoarse at a nite who wuz on his hoarse with a speer 2. I nevar wuz in a jost b4 so i wuz afeared that teh nite wuz betar then me. So i put awey teh speer and goted ot my gun. The nite wuz weerin amour so teh ballots coldnt hurt him so I shat his hoarse and the hoarse dyed and the nite felled of. I wan teh furst jost. No1 in teh awdians new wut my gun wuz so they didant no I cheeted and I gotted 2 go2 teh naxt rond. In teh next rond i wuz agenst anotter nite and i shat his hoarse 2 win 2. Than I did teh saem 4 a few moar ronds until teh final jost of teh tornymant. I gotted reedy to rid agenst my oponant butt wen I tred 2 shat his hoarse I wuz outa ballets!!! The last nite hitted me with his speer and i felled of my hoarse and lose teh jost (c Im not a marey su ifi lose sum tims). Wen I felled of my hoarse my hellmat felled of my hed and everone sawed I wuz a gurl. Tehn Lauren stud up becuz she wuz in teh awdians.  
"Hey I no who taht is! Shes Sara and I wanna rap her!" Lauren sed. She jump ot of awdians and run tords me butt I get bak on my hoarse and rid awey becuz I coldnt run fats in my armoire. Butthan Lauren taked the hoarse frum anotter nite and startad riden aftar me. I wuz shur i wold be domed! We rided arond Keens Landen on r hoarses and her hoarse seem 2 be fastar and i wuz ot of ballets so i coldnt shit her. Than sudanly Matel Fase flyed don in frant of me and grabed my hoarse with his claws and kild it and i felled on teh grond agen. Lauren gotted of her hoarse and grab me.  
"Now im gona taek u 2 teh dunjun until im reedy 4 me and Kaytee 2 rap u!" So i wuz putin teh dunjun of teh palas. Ho wud i get ot of thes on?!


	8. CHAP 8: SARA ALMOS GETS RAP

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara almos gets rap buy Lauren! Its reely scurry!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wach moar of Gaem of Throns and im reely getin confus. Wen is teh old ladey who is Kween of Briten accorden 2 teh noos gona bee on teh sho? Is she evan Kween atoll or is she jus seenial with altimers. My grate grama has taht and sumtims she cals me bye my moms nam or evan my gramas naem. Im not my mom or my grama so I laff at my grate grama becuz shes so old and stooped. Butt on tim my mom herd me doen that and she slap me in fase! She apolajiz 4 hitten me butt sed its reely meen 2 maek fun of my grate grama and tolded me ill be in reely bug treble ifi do it agen. So my moms tryen to censar me and taek awey my rite of free spech frum teh furst almondment! I shold tel the polise shes taken awey my constipational rites!

CHAP 8: SARA ALMOS GETS RAP!!!

So I wuz in dunjun of Royel Palas an their wuz noting i cold do 2 try to escap. I wuz afred I wuz gona be rap espeshully becuz I didant no Sholk and Lucina rooled Germeny and Frans nao and wer planen 2 rescuu me. I tred 2 brake outa the prisan butt it was 2 hard so I gived up. I thot abot prayen 2 God to halp me butt he an Jesas wer captar bye Satin and Satin woldnt saev me becuz hes evul.  
Sudanly teh dore 2 dunjun opaned and son Lauren an Kaety wer otsid my sell.  
"Ok its tim 4 us 2 rap u" Lauren sed.  
"Ono! Stey awey!" I sed.  
"No were gona rap u no matar wat" Lauren sed.  
"Lauren! U no we use 2 be frends! Theirs sum speshal plases u can go2 were tehy us the powar of preyin 2 cur homasexalty. My ant, my dads sitar, wuz send 2 on b4 i wuz bored becuz I herd she try 2 rap my mom wile my mom an dad wer engag butt not marey yet (I dont remamber the hole storey). And nao my ant is strate and is marreyd and has sum childrens (witchis gud becuz she also drink alota bears nao so imagen who hared it wold be 4 her 2 ovarcum the sine of been a alkohalek on top of been a lesban)" I sed.  
"Butt im hapey bean a evul lesban and I wuz nevar ur frend I alweys jus wantad 2 rap u 2 maek u a lesban" Lauren sed. Kaeti hited me with her ginormes noes to knack me onto grond. I tred to getup butt Lauren wuz sudanly on top off me! She smell reely nise butt I wuz vary scar obvusly becuz she wuz gona rap me and id becum a lesban. Lauren startad taken of my cloths son I wuz onely in my underwear.  
"Maybee this is goen 2 fas ill taek it slowly an enjoy ur sufarin" sed Lauren. She sudanly press her pritty lips agenst mine and startad to kis me. I coldnt pul awey becuz I wuz on the grond. Than she move her tun in2 my moth and startad to lik teh insid ofit. and she stik on of her hans undar my bra and started sofly caresin on off my bobs with her soft skin. Than she stop kisen me and mov her tun ovar and startad 2 sofly lik arond teh ehj of the otter cop of my bra with her warm tun. I wuz reely scurred by wat was hapen. In fact im so scar rite now im starten 2 feel liek im wetin mysefl in reel lief jus imagenin it.  
"Lauren lets get don 2 buznes" sed Kairi.  
"Rite" sed Lauren.  
So the 2 lesbans prepar 2 rap me in teh vegeta witches the onely way 2 turd a strate gurl in2 a lesban. Butthan sudanly a gard runed in.  
"Briten is undar bluddy atak by Frans and Germeny!" sed gard.  
"Ono this is teh wurst posabal tim 4 that!" sed Lauren.  
"Frans alredy surander so now Lucina and Sholk r both comand teh bluddy Germen wankars. They hav moar bluddy technoloogey then us butt we hav moar majak so its evan" sed gard. Thats wen I new Lucina and Sholk wer hear 2 rescu me frum bean rap and I had hop agen. I noked Lauren ofa me and bak in2 coroner of my sell.  
"U cant get awey taht easel!" sed Lauren and than She and Kaety and teh gard were chasen me arond my sell. Wile I herd teh Germens fiten teh Britash otsid. I runed arond teh sell 2 kep awey frum tham until sudanly Lucina and Sholk burst in. They kill the gard reely easoly butt than Satin opans a porthole 2 subspas and Lauren and Kaety jump in and escap.  
"Yay! We rescud u in tim!" Sed Lucina.  
"Butt wate ho do we no u didant get rap alredy and r tryen 2 trik us" sed Sholk. Than I kis Sholk witch PROVS ONS AN FLORAL IM NOTA LESBAN BECUZ A LESBAN WOLDANT DO TAHT. R U LISSANEN EVERONE WHO KEPS CALLEN ME A LESBAN?  
So Me and Lucina and Sholk runed ota teh dunjun.  
"Stop rite their u wankars!" we herd and it wuz HAREY POTAR AND A BUNCHA OTTER WIZERDS!!!


	9. CHAP 9: HAREY POTATS EVUL MAJAK

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara and Lucina and Sholk muts fite Harey Potar and sum otter gizzards and there evul majak frum Satin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finely finash washin gaem of throns and so im cot up on Britash histary. I gess the old ladey isant kween at all so Ill jus pritend she wuz nevar in this storey. Sholks gaem stil didant cum in the male yet. I watn 2 ask my mom 2 ordar it agen becuz she must off don sumthin ron butt shes curantly awey wachen the fotball teem praktis after there gaem yestarday nite and she dosant want me to bothar her rite now. Id ask my dad 2 ordar it butt he dosant want me 2 talk 2 unles its sumthin reely impotent and usally he sez watevar i wana talk 2 him abot isant impotent enuf. Alos sumtims he gos 2 me rome aftar werk a few tims a weak and givs me sum munny as lon as I dont bothar him with "dum gurl thins" as he cals it. Thats ok becuz its teh womans job 2 raze the childrans not the mans.

CHAP 9: HAREY POTARS EVUL MAJAK

Me and Lucina and Sholk wer shoked wen Harey Potar and teh otter wizords shod up.  
"Mwa! Ha! Ha! U wankars! Im gona us evul majak frum Lored Satin 2 tune Sara in2 a lesban!" sed Harey Potar.  
"No ples dont!" I sed.  
"U bluddy wankars cant convins me 2 chan my mined!" sed Harey Potar.  
"Butt I hav teh Germen militry on my sid u wankar" sed Sholk. He ponted 2 teh Germens who wer beaten tha Britash militry.  
"Thats wut u thank!" sed Harey Potar. Than Harey Potar and teh otter wizords did sum majak and a reely big hol opaned up in the grond. It wuz a hol that leeded 2 HELL ITSLEF!!! And than sum demans came everywhere! And they garbed al the Germen soljurs and drag them 2 Hell and Germeny wuz defeet.  
"Ono!" sed Sholk.  
"We r lose!" sed Lucina.  
"Wy did u do thes" I sed.  
"Becuz im bluddy evul!" sed Harey Potar "now noone can sav u!"  
"Wecan stil fite u!" sed Lucina. And so Lucina and Sholk runed ovar and startad killen the wizerds that Harey Potar brotted withim. Son all teh wizords expect Harey Potar himsalf wer ded butt than Harey Potar did sum majak that turn Lucina and Sholk 2 stoned.  
"NOOOOOOOO!!!!" I sed.  
"Ha! Now evan they cant sav u! Noone will stop me frum maek u a lesban!" sed Harey Potar. He did sum majak 2 maek me frez in plase and than he gotted ot sum goets blud and use it 2 draw a pentagon arond me. Than he started a Satinist chant that wud turd me in2 a lesban. Their wuz noting I cold do 2 stap him! I thot 4 sertan I wuz domed!  
"I wil stop u Harey Potar!" I herded sumon say. Than a reely big musklar guy burts frum on of the dores neerby. I rekonized who he wuz. He wuz the Monten frum Gaem of Throns! The Monten is a guy who kiled the gay illegol imegrant guy in sesan 4 of gaem of throns (The illeagle imegrunt guy wuz frum Doarn witchis liek Britash Mexako or sumthin. I wondar wy the Britash pepole didant bild a wal 2 blok of Doarn butt insted bilt on in teh northarn part of Briten. I gess foreners reely r stooped. Alos teh illegol imegrant guy had sax with sum mens so he wuz both gay and a illegol imegrant. So it wuz grate wen the Monten kild him).  
Harey Potar startad chanten fastur 2 try 2 turn me in2 a lesban b4 the Monten gotted 2 him butt the Monten runned ovar and noked Harey Potar 2 the grond. Than he kild Harey Potar the exact sam way he kild the gay illegol imegrant guy, buy stiken his fingars in2 Harey Potars eye sockats and than crashing Harey Potars skol with his bear hands.  
"Tanks 4 saven me Monten!" I sed.  
"Dont menton it" sed tha Monten and he leev. Than sinse Harey Potar wuz ded Lucina and Sholk werent ston aneymor. I kist Sholk agen 2 prov ho strate I wuz, than I brot Lucina in a frendly embrase and rubed the sid of my fase agents hers.  
"Wecan leev Briten nao" sed Lucina. So Me and Lucina and Sholk gotted bak in Kapten Felkans car (it onely had 2 seets so I shard 1 with Lucina) and we driv bak 2 manshan. Butt wen we gotted their KAPTEN FALKAN AND MASTAR HAND WER IN THE GARAG WAITEN 4 US!!!


	10. CHAP 10: DITENSHUN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mister Hen givs Sara and the Christen Smashars a reely big ditenshun!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pepole reely ned 2 stop akusen me of been a lesban. Im nota lesban. Evan Lauren isant sayen I evar had sax with her, and she nos i nevar did so I dont no wy she thanks she has enuf evadunce 2 akus me of been a lesban. A gurl becums a lesban if she has sax with anotter gurl and I NEVAR did that so I cant bee a lesban. Jus finden gurls prittyer than bois isant enuff becuz God maed gurls so muk pritter than bois as a tast 2 c if gurls liek me cold resist teh urgas and be strate and marey a guy aneyway so wecan go2 hevan wen we dye. Alos wy do teh homasexals wanna get marey aneyway? If u hav 2 mens who ar marreyed whos gona cuk and clen and taek care of the childrans, and if u hav 2 womens who r maryed than how r they gona get munny (prolly frum welfair becuz there libruls)? It dosant evan maek sens!!!

CHAP 10: DITENSHUN

Me and Lucina and Sholk gotted outa Capten Futons car and saw that Mastar Hanned and Kapten Failcun wer both vary anger at us.  
"Ho dar u steel my car" sed Capten Falkan  
"We neded 2 saev Sara!" sed Lucina.  
"I dont caer abot Sara!" sed Kapten Falkon.  
"Tahts wy we didant bothar 2 bluddy ask u wankar!" sed Sholk.  
"Ho did u evan fined ot abot this" I sed "Wernt the otter Christens distract u"  
"Well my finale smash usas my car so in on of the maches I gotted a smash bal and tryed to us it butt noting hapaned" sed Kapten Falkan.  
"And than he tolled me and we wented 2 the graj of manshan and his car wuz gon" sed Matter Hemp.  
"Ono we sholdof thot off that!" sed Lucina.  
"No u sholdant hav steeled the car in the furst plas" sed Mustard Han "and alos Sholk and Lucina u 2 concured Frans and Germeny and neerly startad Word War 3!"  
"Butt if they didant I wold hav nevar ben saev and Lauren wold rap me and maek me a lesban!" I sed.  
"I dont caer! In fact i thenk it mite be gud if u wer a lesban so ud stop bean intolarent" sed Master Hanes.  
"Ur so meen!" I sed.  
"Well nao r u gona punash them 4 steel my car?" Kapten Fappin sed 2 Mastur Hand.  
"Off coarse! Jus liek I did 2 teh otter Christens who wer involv" sed Mastar Hen.  
"Ono!" sed Sholk "ples dont!"  
"2 laet" sed Mastar Hans "I gived teh otter Christen Smashars 2 weaks of ditenshun 4 wut they did. Butt Sholk and Lucina wut u did wuz much wors and Sara I jus dont liek u so Im given u TO MOTHS OF DITENSHUN!!! Ill wak u up evary mornen and tell u 2 goto the ditenshun rome wer ull haev 2 stay until its tim 2 return 2 ur rom 2 goto slep. Crazey Hen wil brin u sum fud butt not aneything reely gud. And nun of u will be abel 2 fite aney battals or leev the Manshan 4 aney resin."  
"Butt I ned 2 saev God and Jesas!" I sed "Satin has them captar!"  
"Wel 2 bad u haev ditenshun!" sed Mastar Hanned "In fakt, becuz u talk bak so much im not evan gona let u leev the ditenshun room 2 slep. U hav 2 slep in there!"  
"Thats not fare!" I sed.  
"Ya if u maek Sara stay ther al nite than u hav 2 maek me do that 2!" sed Lucina.  
"Me 2!" sed Sholk.  
"Fien! All 3 of u hav 2 stay in teh ditenshun rom 4 TOO HOLE MUNCHS" sed Mastar Haned. He laft the garaj off Manshan. Kapten Felkan laffed atus and leev 2.  
"How wil I defeet Satin and Oboma nao!" I sed.  
"Dont worey" Lucina taked my haned "well thunk off sumthin"  
"Yes we bluddy wil" sed Sholk. And the tree of us wented 2 ditenshun rom.


	11. CHAP 11: THA DEKOYS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sum of Sholks frends shoup 2 be teh dekoys at ditenshun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Sholks gaem FINELLY came in male and nao im reely confus. Firts ofal it sed Sholk wuz frum a coleny... butt teh colenys wer wut Amurca wuz call b4 Tomes Jaferson writ the Decoration of Indifference and we wan tha Reevaluation War. So dose that men Sholk is Ameracan? Butt than wy dose he hav a Britash aksent? And dose this all men this gaem taks plas duren the Revulsionary War. I meen the guy frum the began loked sorta liek Jesas expect his beerd wuzant as lon so maybe he wuz a yunger Jesas... butt weres Jorge Wassinton and Tomass Jeforsan and the otter Fondling Farters? And r the robats the Britash pepole? How dose Briten hav so maney robats? Or wuz the beginen part supos 2 be the Frans and Indiana war sins it taked plas erlier than the rest of tha gaem? And wy wuz Hulck Hogen fitten alon sied Yung Jesas and the evul-lookan guy who dyed in the begin? I didant thenk he wuz that old! I dont thenk this gaem is vary hysterically akurat. Aneyway evan if he is reely frum Amrecia Sholk is stil gona be Britash in thes storey becuz I sed he wuz erlier and aslo he has a Britash aksent.
> 
> Aneyway I gotted 2 the caev becuz I hav 2 get tha either salamanders or watever there cald butt this big catarpilor thin keps cumin ota the grond and killen me. I hav all 3 pepole Sholk and Rine and Fiona butt I stil loss! I dont thenk catterpilar is finel bos becuz I didant evan see Medal Fase yet, butt its stil way 2 hared! How do I win gaem? I stoped playen 2 rite this chaptar becuz im frustrate and confus!

CHAP 11: THA DEKOYS

I wuz vary angar at getin ditenshun becuz Mister Han wuz so meen and a jurk! Me and Lucina and Sholk wented 2 ditenshun rome and sitted don in chares. Math and the Robans and Lenk and Ick and Maryo and Luwegi and Peech and Zalda and Pet and Pelletina and Roslena and Sonek wer al in ther becuz the wer the Smashars who halped Lucina and Sholk by distrakt Capten Felkan. Butt they wer alod 2 leev bak 2 there roms at nite and alos they onely gotted 2 weaks of ditenshun wile Me and Lucina and Sholk gotted 2 monts.  
"This is terabel!" I sed.  
"Ino!" sed Lucina.  
"Wer sorey we falled u" sed Pink.  
"Ya Capten Felken fonded ot abot the plane wen my brothar Maryo and me wer fitten him" sed Luwedgie.  
"Its ok" I sed "its al Mastor Hens falt hes tha on who maed the unfare punashment."  
"Butt I thenk I miteof fond a wey 2 getot off it" Sholk sed.  
"Wut" I sed.  
"I cald 2 off my frends who wil halpus get ot. Butt theres sumthin eels u ned 2 do Sara" Sholk sed.  
"Wat do I hav 2 do?" I sed.  
"Remamber wen u had an evul clon butt than u absorb her and than u taek cur 4 homasexalty to turn her in2 gud strait clon?" sed Sholk "Lunk and Mark telled me al abot it thats ho i no evan tho I wasant ther. Butt wut u ned 2 do is split frum ur clon."  
"Wy?" I sed.  
"Becuz I onely hav 2 frends and we ned three pepole 2 gurls and a goy" shed Sholk.  
"Ok" I sed. So I consecrated relly hadr and fokused on separat frum Evul Clon Sara who wuz nao Gud Clon Sara. Sun we wer 2 difrant pepole agen.  
"Hi everone im bak" sed Gud Clon Sara.  
"Hi Gud Clon Sara" sed all the Christen Smashars in tha rom. Than sudanly a laddar wuz up 2 the widowsel and Sholk opaned the widnow.  
"Rien! Fyora! Im gald u cold bluddy maek it!" sed Sholk. Than Rin and Foira frum Xenablad cum in2 widow. Expect Reun wuz werin a blon whig and Fiona died her hare bloo.  
"Off coarse we bluddy maed it" sed Rine.  
"Wuts goen on?" I sed.  
"Sholk cald us and ask us 2 be bluddy dekoys so U and Lucina and Him cold leev bluddy ditenshun" sed Flora.  
Thes wuz grate! So Gud Clon Sara pritend 2 be me and Fiota pritend 2 be Lucina and Rien pritend 2 be Sholk so the 3 off us cold leev ditenshun. We newed we had 2 go and fined wer God and Jesas wer been keep captar.


	12. CHAP 12: TRYEN TO FINE SUBSPAS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara an Lucina an Sholk tri to fond subspas becuz tahts were Satin mite bee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So teh libruls r tryen 2 tel me that Sholks gaem dosant taek plas in Amerka b4 the reevaluation war. If thats troo then why is Sholks town cald a "coleny" witchis wut the Stats of Amurcia wer call b4 we wer free? THAT PROVS IM RITE U LIBRULS!!!
> 
> I jus reeliz sumthin abot Sholks gaem. Its on off thos gams were u hav 2 fite monstars 2 get strongar. I playd tham b4 i men finel fantusy steven wuz the firts gam that I evar own I gotted it tin yares ago 4 my five burthday. Butt bak than I cold get Lauren 2 play the boren parts wer u hav 2 fite alota monstars an get strongar. I cant dothat nao becuz Lauren is a evul lesban. Maybee Ican pay sum nurd at skool to fite monstars in Xenablad untel im powarfel enuf 2 beet the catpilar.
> 
> Butt I alos fond ot sum vary impotent noos abot the knew Smats Brus gaem. Aparantly its gona cum ot in Japen thus weakand. I wondared wy it wuz cumin ot in Japen furst and aftar doen sum resurch I fond ot that teh compeny that maeks vido gaems is in Japen. Im gessin Obomas job-killen anty-biznas stuf liek Obabacar and hi taxas an clas warfair causd vido gaem compeny 2 mov 2 Japen. So if we had a Repoblikun presadent then wed get the noo gaem neerly a munth erlier!

CHAP 12: TRYAN 2 FUND SUBSPAS

So Me and Lucina and Sholk leev don the ladar ot of the widow of ditenshun rome and startad to snek awey frum the manshan.  
"Were do we ned 2 go?" sed Sholk.  
"I thenk I saw Satin on the otter sid of the porthole that Lauren and Kayti escap thro in2 subspas" I sed.  
"I thank ur rite" sed Lucina.  
"Ok so how do we get 2 subspas me and Lucina wernt hear last tim so weev nevar ben their" sed Sholk.  
I try 2 remamber but I coldant! Ono!  
"Ono! I dont remamber how 2 get 2 subspas!" I sed.  
"Thats a problam!" sed Sholk.  
"Cum on may be we can fine sum cloos in the town neer the Manshan" sed Lucina.  
"Gud idea" I sed.  
So we wented awey from tha Manshon and went 2 the town neerby.  
"Ok" I sed wen we gotted 2 town "lets splitup and serch the antire town. Wecan meatup at chikfela in 2 owers."  
"Ok" sed Lucina and Sholk.  
So we splitad up and ech went a difrant distraction. I wented 2 the mal and loked their. I coldant fine the porthole 2 subspas butt I did fin a reely nise red minyskurt that I bot and chanjed in2. Than aftar I serch the antire mal I leev and seerch arond otter plases in the tow. Eventully I lok in a drak aly and sudanly I sawed Meatball Fase talken 2 tha catarpilar that I cant beet in Xenablad.  
"U ned 2 gard the bluddy porthole 2 subspas and maek sur Sara dosant get threw" sed Medal Fate.  
"Ok" sed tha catorpiller. And Metil Fase flyed awey.  
I sawed that the subspas porthole wuz rite behid the catapilar! Their wuz no wey thro expect 2 defeet it! I wented 2 Chikfela and wated 2 Lucina and Sholk to get their.  
"I didant fined bluddy anethin" sed Sholk.  
"Me nether" sed Lucina.  
"I fond the porthole" I sed "butt thers treble."  
"Wat is it?" Lucina taked my han and lok consurned.  
"Its tha catirpiler frum the caev in Sholks gaem" I sed "Its garden the porthole."  
"Ono!" sed Sholk.  
"We ned 2 beet it!" sed Lucina.  
"I no butt its reely stron" I sed.  
"Butt we dont hav a chose" sed Sholk. So aftar we ated at Chikfela we wented bak 2 wer the catorpilar wuz.  
"Mwa! Ha! Ha! Ull nevar defeet me!" sed catapoler.  
"Dye u stooped catarpilar!" I sed. I gotted ot my gun and shat it ovar and ovar "DYE! DYE! DYE! DYE! DYE!"  
Ons I wuz ota ballets I goted ot a difrant gun and keep shatin the catarpilar. Than I puled ot sum groinaids and throw them. Than I gotted a rockat luncher and shat sum rokets at it. Wen the smoak cleer the catarpilar wuz ded. And so Me and Lucina and Sholk entared the porthole 2 subspas.


	13. CHAP 13: SATINS TARP!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara and Lucina and Sholk go2 subspas BUTT ITS A TERP!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wented 2 skool 2 get a nurd to maek me stron enuf 2 beet catarpilar in Xenablad. Its alweys scarey to aproch nurd tabel at launch becuz Lauren sats with tham (tho she alweys gets up and walks awey wen i sho up. Prolly shes tryen 2 snek arond the cafteria and rap me wile my gard is don butt I nevar let my gard don). Specken of Lauren shes starten 2 tak aftar the nurds she hans ot with liek she use 2 wer contakts butt she stop doen that and wer glasas nao and alos her cloths arnt the bets disaner cloths anemore. I men shes stil reely relly pritty and infakt evan her glasas r pritty and lok grate on her butt shes an evul lesban and im strate so we cant be frends.
> 
> Becky ofall pepole agred 2 help me beet tha katarapillor as long asi bot 4 3DS 4 her 4 yunger siblans becuz her famly is so pore (prolly becuz her parrots r so lazey and dum so they dont hav munny) they hav 2 shar 1 3DS. Alos she wants munny 2 bye 4 copays of teh noo smash bras gaem wen it cums ot so ech of her siblans wil get on becuz she gotted the munny 2 preordar it 4 her burthday (lol, onely on gaem 4 her burthday? Her parants muts be reely lazey 2 bee that pore). I dont no wat Becky herself wil get frum thes sins everthin wil go 2 her yunger siblans butt I gess shes a stooped librul so it dosant matar. I didant agre at frits butt than she sad she wold alos get me passed an evul lizzard a bit farthar in the caev that isant as powarfel as the catropilar butt is stil pritty stron. So I agred 2 do thes and rite aftar Im dun writen chaptar ill wakl 2 stor and bye 4 3DS.

CHAP 13: SATENS TROPE

Me and Lucina and Sholk wented in2 subspas and sudanly we were ataked by subspas stuf. We wer exceptin this becuz we had 2 be clos 2 Satin and so his minyons wold be garden him. We defeeted tha badguys and goed farter in2 subspas.  
"Wer in subspas do u think Satin is" sed Sholk.  
"Theres a rome that u can see frum the tv skreen rom in the Manshan and thats wer Satin lieks 2 held meetins off all his evul folawers. So I thenk he mite be their" I sed.  
"Sems lik it mite be the beast plas 2 lok" sed Lucina.  
"It muts be wer Satin is keepan God and Jesas captar" Sholk sed.  
So we fotted thro mor subspas stuf an denims frum Hell and evan sum angles that wer rap in2 been gay wen Satin concurred hevan. The fites wer hard butt we wan al of tham. As we gotted closar 2 the rome wer we thot Satin wode be the enemas got tuffer and tuffer so we nood it had 2 be the rite plase. We entard the rome and sawed that Satin wuz their. Butt God and Jesas wernt!  
"Hello Sara I new u wood cum!" he sed.  
"Wer r God and Jesas?" sed Lucina.  
"Their not hear!" sed Satin.  
"Ono! We cum hear for noting!" sed Sholk.  
"No wecan atlest kill Satin!" I sed. I gotted ot a gun and shat Satin but the ballet bonced of with a metol sond! This wuzant the reel Stan at all! IT WUZ A ROBAT SATEN!!!  
"Mwa! Ha! Ha! Nao u no the trooth! Im not the reel Satin ima robat!" sed Robat Satin "and thes wuz a tarp becuz the reel Staten noed ud cum hear!"  
Sudanly the dore slam shut behind us and Lauren and Kayti imerg frum the draknes!!!  
"We didant rap u in Briten butt well rap u nao Sara!" sed Lauren.  
"No ples dont!" I sed.  
"2 laet well rap u and Lucina 2 and than well hav a lesban ogre!" sed Kayti butt it wuz hard 2 here her becuz her noes wuz so big she had 2 staned far awey.  
"Wut abot me?" sed Sholk.  
"Well captar u untel we brin a gay guy hear 2 rap u" sed Robat Saten.  
"Ono! We ned 2 get awey!" I sed.  
"U cant the dores lacked!" sed Lauren.  
"Butt the Monsanto can kil robats!" sed Sholk (spekin of taht ho can Sholk us the Toronto his gaem sez onely the guy who loks liek Jesas butt is reely naem Dungbin or sumthin can us the Mongolo?). So Sholk runned at Robet Satin and slised him in haf with the Monitor.  
"Ha! Butt it cant kil humens!" sed Lauren.  
"Butt my sord can!" sed Lucina. She runed at Lauren and try 2 kil her butt Lauren dogged Lucinas atecks and than Kaylee noked Lucina 2 the grond with her noes. Than Lauren and Kayti startad taken Lucinas cloths of!!!  
"Lucina! NO!" I sed.  
"Hurray Sara! U ned 2 run awey!" Lucina sed "Its 2 laet 4 me Im gona be rap!"  
"Butt than ull be a evul lesban!" I sed "I wont let that hapen! Ur my frend!"  
"If u try 2 saev me than ull be rap 2!" sed Lucina.  
"Ur my beast frend in the Manshan and we cant be frends anemore if ur a lesban and also ull be evul and werk 4 Satin and go2 Hell" I sed.  
"If u try 2 saev me al that wil hapan is ull be rap 2. Its 2 lat 4 me!" Lucina sed. "Sholk! The Minato can cute threw the dores rite?"  
"Rite" sed Sholk.  
"Than nok Sara unconshus and taek her ot of hear!" Lucina sed.  
"Ok" sed Sholk. B4 I cold do anethin Sholk noked me unconshus. Wen I waked up Me and Sholk gotted awey and wer in a feld.  
"Wy did u do that!" I sed "We cold hav saev Lucina!"  
"No we coldant" sed Sholk "The Munafo cant hirt humens and u ussed al of ur balets expect on wen u fot the catarpilar and u us the lats on on Robat Stan."  
"Butthan... that meens Lucinas a lesban nao!" I sed.  
"Rite" sed Sholk "and shell try 2 rap u wen u c her agen."  
"Butt... butt... we wer frends" I startad cryan.  
"It dosant matar. Lesbans r evul and want 2 maek moar lesbans bye rapen strate gurls. Tahts al they liek 2 do expect shop at Hom Deepo" sed Sholk. I noed this wuz troo butt it wuz reely sad that Me and Lucina coldant be frends anemore.  
"This is al ur falt!" I smak Sholk in the fase "If u didant nok be unconshus I coldof fond sum wey 2 beet Lauren and Kaety and saev Lucina b4 she wuz rap!"  
I runed awey cryen.  
"Sara! Wate!" sed Sholk. He runed aftar me. So I startad runen fastor. Sun I wuz bak at the Manshan and Lucina wuz waten by the ladar. I wuz scarred.  
"Cum on Sara" Lucina sed "we ned 2 get bak 2 ditenshun b4 Mastar Haned relizes we wer gon."  
"Butt... arnt u a lesban nao?" I wuz confus.  
"Yes Ima lesban nao. And Im hapyar than iv evar ben in my lief" she sad "butt I cant rap u rite nao becuz theres Christen smashars waiten in the rom up their and if u screem they mite cum saev u."  
"Butt wy dont u want Mastur Hanes 2 no we escap?" I wuz stil vary confus. If Lucina wuz a lesban nao, wy wood she halp me.  
"Its simpol. I may be a lesban nao, butt we stil hav the sam rom in the Manshan. If Mastor Hen fines ot abot r escap, he mite maek r ditenshun longar. Butt wen r ditenshun is ovar well boht hav 2 gobak 2 r rom. And than Ill rap u. So ucan c wy I dont want Mister Hond 2 maek ditenshun longor."  
Lucina startad laffin evully, butt I had no choose. I coldant let Mustard Hans no abot r escap, so I had to clim the leder aftar Lucina. Sholk cot up a litol latar and than wen we wer bak in tha ditenshun rom Ryne and Fyora and Gud Clon Sara leev. Than I startad cryen agen.


	14. CHAP 14: EVERON IS SADE ABOT LUCINA BEAN A LESBAN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everon is sod becuz Lucina is a lesban nao.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rite nao im in a difrant rome writen on a labtop insted off my usal commuter becuz Becky is in my rom playen Xenabald. Wen she cum 2 my hose she sed the antire rooster off the noo Smash Boars gaem is on intranet and shoed me sum pictars. I laffed becuz they wer obveus faek. On of tham was Doktar Marik wich is jus stooped. Than theres Dork Pete who is Pot expect hes Drake. Than theres Duke Haunt whos a doug with a dick on his bak. And thers alos Bowzar Junor who Becky sez is Boozers sun. Becky muts thank im reely stooped 2 fal for thos pictars wich she obveusly mad in fotoshap in liek ten minuets. I meen Dr Maryo and Derek Pit and Duk Cunt and Bosore Juno? Wy wod they getin insted off otter pepole?
> 
> Aneway I hop Becky gets dun soon becuz I dont lick her and I want her 2 leev my hose.

CHAP 14: EVERON IS SADE ABOT LUCINA BEAN A LESBAN

Ass I stay in ditenshun 4 the naxt few days I kep cryan abot wat hapen 2 Lucina. Mark wuz sad 2 becuz his sitar wuz goen to Hell nao becuz shes a lesban. And Guy Roban wuz sad taht his gurlfren braked up with him and liek gurls nao. Everon wuz vary vary sad. Butt I wuz the sadist of al becuz Lucina wuz my bettest frend evar and no we coldant be frends.  
"Wy cant u be strate agen?" I aksed Lucina.  
"Becuz im a evul lesban nao and I liek gurls" Lucina sed "It maks me vary hapey and wen I rap u than ull be hapey 2 bee a lesban 2."  
"It dosant mater if im hapey!" I sed "I dont wana go2 Hell!"  
"U shud stop beleev the bibal and becum a librul liek me Sara" sed Lucina "can u imogene wut it muts be liek 2 kis gurls withot been afred of goen 2 hell? Or evan 2 hav sax with gurls? Its reely fun."  
"That dosant matar! God maed gurls so pritty and maed us fel gud wen we kis tham becuz he wants 2 test us 2 see if well be strate and marey a guy and hav childrans and be a propar hoswief aneway. Ur fallen the test Lucina and if u dont repant than ur goen to HELL!" I sed.  
"If its a test than ull fale 2 aftar ditenshun is ovar and I maek u a lesban" sed Lucina. As muk as I hatted 2 admin it Lucina was rite abot that. I neded 2 fine a noo romate 4 wen ditenshun was ovar. I desided 2 ask otter pritty strate Christen gurls. I went 2 Paloteena becuz she wuz a vary impotent and powarfel angle and wuz bos 2 a buncha otter angles liek Pete.  
"Hi Pulletina do u wanna be my romate wen im ot off ditenshun?" I sed.  
"Ok" sed Palootina.  
"Sara! Wy do u want 2 get a noo romate?" I didant evan reeliz that Mister Hen had cum in tha rume. Lucina startad 2 pritend to cry.  
"Its becuz Sara fond ot im a lesban and nao shes bean reel meen and intolerate" Lucina sed.  
"Sara is this troo?" Nastier Han sed "do u not want 2 be frends with Lucina jus becuz shes a lesban?"  
"Thats rite butt lesbans r evul and Lucina wants 2 maek me a lesban 2 by rappen me" I sed.  
"Thats ridikolos" sed Muster Hanes "u and Lucina wer romates b4 and she didant try 2 rap u. She muts hav bean a lesban the hole tim becuz pepole r borne that way!"  
"No thats a lye noone is bored a lesban! U becum 1 if u hav sax with otter gurls" I sed.  
"Thats stooped" sed Mastar Hind "thats not wat the medea tels me."  
"Thats becuz the midea is librul lyes expect 4 Fux Noose" I sed.  
"Enuf Sara!" sed Mastur Hans "apologiz 2 Lucina or ill maek u stay in ditenshun evan longar!"  
"Its ok" Lucina sed "plees dont punash Sara aney moar. I jus want 2 be frends withot her bean hatful 2 me 4 who i am."  
"Ok" sed Mastar Gland "C Sara? Lucina is a gud persan and she forgivs u evan tho u wer meen 2 her. Shes a gud frend 2 u and u sholdant stop been frends with her just becuz shes a lesban. Im not gona evar let u mov 2 a difrant rome wen ur ditenshun is ovar."  
I noed the reel resin Lucina didant want me 2 get moar ditenshun is so she cold rap me sonar butt i aslo noed Mitser Hanf wudant evar beleev me. I had 2 fine a otter way outa thes! Alos the ditenshun 4 the otter Christen Smashars wold end sun and onely Sholk wold still be in ditenshun 2 protract me frum Lucina and I wuz stil made at him becuz he woldant let me sav Lucina frum becuman a lesban in the firts plase. I wuz reely scarred abot wat wold hapan!


	15. CHAP 15: MARK AND LUCINAS DAD

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara visets Mark and Lucinas dad 2 brake the bed noose abot Lucina bean a lesban.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So wen Becky wuz playen Xenablad 4 me she sed she halped ot a buncha pepole in the town who kept askin me 2 do stuf 4 tham. She cald this doen "sidkwests". Shes such a librul al those pepole in the town shold jus stop bean lazey and do stuf 4 thamselfs why shold anyon halp them? She told me she manage 2 get passed the catapilar withot evan fittin it tho so wut wuz the pint of halpin the lazey pepole in the town?! Libruls r so stooped! Aneway Becky stop playen otsid the plase with the either silanders and so I gotted tham and fot sum stuf robats and than some otter robats atecked leeded by Mental Fake (who didant talk 4 sum resin evan tho he did in the vido that shoed Sholk). And than Mattel Fase killed Feora! Wy did that hapan she wuz kinda pritty! Wel shes stil gona be aliv in my storey. And nao I hav 2 go thro caev agen. The catpilar is bak butt I can go into the map 2 telapart passed it (wy woldant the gaem let me do that last tim?) espeshully sins I jus hav Sholk and Rine nao so it wold be evan hardar evan tho im ALOT strongar aftar Becky did watever she did 2 maek me strongar wen she wuz playen.
> 
> Aslo I herd sum pepole sayen that the karacters Becky sed wold be in the gaem r reel. Lol thats so stooped Ill fine ot whos reely in the gaem in octaber.

CHAP 15: MARK AND LUCINAS DAD

So it wuz neerly 2 weaks latar and all the Christen smashars expect Me and Sholk wer almos dun with ditenshun. That ment taht Sholk wold be the onley on who cold protract me frum Lucina. And than sins Mastar Hen woldant let me chang romes awey frum Lucina that ment that as the days wenton it wold son be tim wen noone cold sav me frum bean rap! Ther wuz the cur that got rid of homasexalty last tim, butt that wuz mad by my Sevant Grad Englush Teecher Tiffany butt she wuz marey 2 Mr Jonson nao so he woldant let her maek it agen and the bibal sez that womans shold alweys obay ther hubsand even if hes a horabel evul persan and she hats him (thats wut my mom tels me), so if Tiffany halped us maek the cur agen shed go2 Hell 4 disobay her hubbard evan if it wuz 4 a gud caus. So we neded anotter plan.  
"Maybe we can snek ot agen and aks my dad wut 2 do" sed Matt "aslo we ned 2 tel my parants the bad noos abot Lucina been a lesban nao."  
"Ok" I sed. So Me an Palletuna and Sholk and Marp sneked ot. Lucina agred 2 pritend 2 be her brothar becuz if Mastar Han fond ot abot us escap he wold giv me moar ditenshun and than Lucina wold hav 2 wate longar 2 rap me. And Gud Clon Sara and Rien cum bak 2 pritend 2 be Me and Sholk agen, and Fiona came bak this tim with gren hare 2 pritend 2 be Poontangia.  
So Me and Pootuna and Sholk and Mart wented 2 Mark and Lucinas hose wich wuz in there wolrd. Wen we gotted there I sawed there mom wuz in the kichan makin sum fod butt i dont no hoo she iz. Mark and Lucinas dad wuz wachen Fax Noos and smokan a sigaret. He wuz the guy who got beated up by Capten Falken.   
"Hi im Marht and Lucinas dad" he introdus himsalf.  
"Hi im Sara" I sed.  
"'Ello Guvnuh im Sholk" sed Sholk.  
"Hi im Palpatine" sed Pulletina.  
"Ok so Mart wy r u hear dont u hav the Smash bors thin" sed Maert and Lucinas dad.  
"Theres sum treble abot Lucina" sed Mark "she wuz rap bye lesbans and nao shes a lesban 2."  
Marp and Lucinas mom herd that in the kichan and she startad cryen. There dad wuz a man tho so he didant cry insted he got reely angry and yell a buncha bad werds and throwed the tv remot at the wal and braked it.  
"Taek me 2 ur sitter!" he sed 2 March.  
"Ok dad" sed Math.  
So there dad came withus bak 2 Manshan and clim the ladar in2 ditenshun rome.  
"Hi dad gess wat" Lucina sed "ima lesban nao."  
"Stop callen me dad than" sed Mart and Lucinas dad "ur no dotter off mine if ur not strate."  
"Ha!" sed Lucina "I dont lov my famely ima lesban. I do wanna rap Mom tho so shell be a lesban 2." (c this provs im not a lesban becuz the idea off sax with my mothra is vary disgussing 2 me evan tho shes a women and lesbans liek sax with womans. Ho dose it fell 2 be prov ron libruls?)  
"U shold be vary thankful that ima Christen. Becuz if I wuzant I wold hav maed ur mom get a aberration wen I fond ot u wold be a gurl!" sed Marp and Lucinas dad. Thats wat my dad sez 2 me wen I bothar him 2 much.  
Sudanly Mattster Ham flyed it loken vary anger. Lucina imediately startad 2 pritend 2 cry agen.  
"I herd everthin u sed!" he sed "and ur a terabel farter!"  
"Butt hes dosant reely meen wat he sed abot the albertan" I sed "thats wut my mom tels me ons my dad leevs the rom aftar sayen thins liek this."  
"It dosant matter. U shold nevar say that 2 ur dotter and alos u shold except her 4 been who she is evan if shes a lesban" sed Mastar Hond.  
"No shes no dotter off mine anemor until I fine a cur 2 maek her strate agen" sed Mart and Lucinas dad.  
"Get ota my Manshan u stooped intolerate Christen!" sed Mister Hung. He garbed March and Lucinas dad and throwed him reely hared ot the widow.  
"Ow!" he sed wen he hit the grond.  
"And if u evar bothar Lucina agen im gona call the polite" sed Mustard Hemp.  
"Thanks Mastar Hen ur a betar dad than my reel dad" sed Lucina.  
"I feel reely bad 4 how intolerate these Christens r been off u Lucina espeshully ur fathar so Ill taek awey ur ditenshun" sed Monster Han.  
"Thats ok I no I did bad stuf 2 deserv 2 be hear" sed Lucina "maybe u shold let Sholk leev ditenshun insted."  
"Im sorey I cant do that" Mister Hanes sed. He finely did sumthin that wold halp me becuz if Sholk wuzant in ditenshun than noone wold protract me frum Lucina "butt u can leev ditenshun wenevar u fell liek it."  
"Ok butt ill stay" sed Lucina.  
"Ok" Matterhorn sed and he leev. Than Lucina loked at me and startad laffen evully.  
"Im gona rap u b4 2 lon Sara" she sed "and than ull be a lesban 2."  
"Dont wary" Mart whispared in by eer "ons my ditenshun is ovar tomoro ill fine my dad agen and well maek a cur 4 Lucina."  
I hopped Marht and his dad wold fine a cur in tim b4 my ditenshun was ovar and Lucina rap me!


	16. CHAP 16: NITE IN DITENSHUN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aftar moast of the Christen Smashars ditenshun is ovar and Sholk fals aslep Sara muts protract hersalf frum been rap buy Lucina.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I gotted farthor in Xenablad and nao im on the Bonass Leg wich i thenk is the aria frum Smash Broas. Its cal that becuz in anechant tims b4 the reevaluation war betwine Amerka and Briten there ussed 2 be a ginormes monstar cald the Boners and aslo a ginormes robat monstar cald the Megatron. And thars a big monstar thats liek LEVOL 81 ther. Thats so muck strongar than the catarpilar! How dose the gaem accept me 2 beet it rite nao? Id hav 2 let Becky levol up my karacters 4 like a mont 2 get me that stron and I didnt liek her been in my hose 4 a few owars last tim. I thenk tha monstar wuz mad suhc a hi levol by a progrem mistak and i gess foreners jus dont test there gams b4 they realize tham becuz foreners r stooped and lazey compar 2 Amerkands that wy Amurka is greetest contry on erth wile al otter contries r ful of libruls.
> 
> Warnin: The firts part off this chaptar is base of a nitemar I hav alot in reel lief. Its vary scurry so be kareful wen reedin it.

CHAP 16: KNIGHT IN DITENSHUN

It wuz tha naxt nite and all off the Christen Smashars wer gon expect for me and Sholk. Sholk sed hed wach 2 mak shur Lucina didant rap me so I cold slep so I fald aslep. I startad havin a dreem that Lucina wuz strate agen. We wer runen threw a feald of fowlers holden hans and laffin. It wuz so muhc fun.  
"Ur my beast frend!" Dreem Lucina sed.  
"And ur my bust fern!" Dream Me sed.  
Sudanly ther were sum drak clods on the verizon and a thumperstorm wuz cumin! And sudanly Dreem Lucina wuz looken at me deductively.  
"Maybe we shold go insid b4 the rane cums..." she sed "... lover."  
"No..." Dreem Me sed "... I cant resast u. Lets jus doit rite hear and nao."  
So Dreem Me garbed Dreem Lucina and they startad doen a bunch of discussing lesban stuf. Ono! Not onely wuz Dreem Lucina a lesban butt Dreem Me wuz on 2! This is jus liek alota nitemars I hav in reel lief expect there usely someon eels (I wont say hoo) insted off Lucina. Dreem Me and Dreem Lucina kist and r tuns dansed in each otters moths. We taked of ech otters cloths until we wer don 2 r underwer becuz evan if we get completly nakad in my reel dreems I dont want 2 hav 2 raze the raten off this storey. We gentli carassed each otters brass and than evan moar lesban stuf hapened that wold bomp up the raten off this storey 4 shur (it involved my tune and Lucinas virginia). Wen that wuz dun Dreem Me and Dreem Lucina lyed naxt 2 ech otter on the grond cuddlin togetter 4 warm wile the coald rane fald and lighting kept tryen 2 stroke them butt mist.  
"I luv u Sara" Dreem Lucina sed.  
"I luv u 2 Lucina" Dreem Me sed "will u marey me?"  
"Off coarse I wil" sed Dreem Lucina.  
Wen it wuz al dun the clods began 2 part an a raneboe apared (a cymbal of homasexalty). Dreem Lucina and Dreem Me lyed on the grond stil holden hans and loked up as the son came agen. Sudanly I herd whisparen.  
"Sara... Sara..." I herd. It sonded liek Lucina butt it wuzant Dreem Lucina sayen it. I waked up and thankfely the nitemar wuz ovar. Hoevar the reel Lucina was whisparen in my eer and I new she was abot 2 try to mak it a realty. Butt wat hapan 2 Sholk?! I loked arond and sawed that Sholk wuz aslpe and snoren!  
"Ono! Waek up Sholk!" I sed.  
"It wont werk" sed Lucina "I gived him sum tee with slepin pils init and he drinked it becuz hes Britash."  
"Ono!" I sed.  
"Nao theres noone who will protract u!" Lucina sed.  
"Ples dont do this Lucina!" I sed "I want u 2 be strate so wecan be frends agen!"  
"Wecan be frends wen ur a lesban 2" Lucina sed "Infakt we cna be evan moar than jus frends!"  
"Butt thats ron!" I sed "it gose agents God himsalf."  
"Butt God is captar bye Satin rite nao and if u turd in2 a lesban and dont sav him than it wont matar wut God sez" Lucina sed.  
"Butt ima Christen not a lesban!" I sed.  
"Ican chang that!" sed Lucina and b4 I cold stand up Lucina wuz ontop of me kissen me liek in my dreem. I tred 2 thro her of butt it didant werk. Her bloo hare smell reel nise as she mad ot with me, butt I had 2 get awey b4 she rap me and I becam a lesban. Lucina taked her hans of me so she cold taek her on cloths of and I had my oportunety. I noked her off of me and runned awey. I new I coldant go in2 anotter rome off the Manshan becuz Mastar Han mite fine me and get mad becuz I wuz ot of the ditenshun rom. So I opaned the widow and jumped of. It hurt wen I hit the grond becuz it wuz liek tree or for storeys up butt I wuz ok. Than I runned tords the neerbye reely drak forast were I desided I cold hid and wate untel mornen. Butthan I herd the sonds of Lucina followen me! I runned as fasst as I cold in2 the wods so I cold hid and maybe if Lucina follow me on of the dangeros anemals wold protract me frum her butt hopfuly not kil her becuz we neded 2 maek her strate agen.


	17. CHAP 17: THE DRAK FORAST

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara muts escap frum Lucina in the derp fortress.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it tuned ot I didant evan hav 2 fite the reely stron monstar in Xenablad (than wy izit evan their?) and nao I hav anotter gurl in my grope agen. Her naem is Schala and she hasa gun so she muts beleve in the secant almondmint. Hoevar she loks kidna liek Laurens sistar Leslie. Thats weerd. I no Borak Obabas watchen me becuz he taked don my frist storey frum fanfecshandotnat so maybe he sawed Laurens sitar and told the pepole in Japen maken the gaem to hav a karectar that loks lik her. I wondar wy Oboma wold do that its not reely an evul thin 2 do jus weerd.
> 
> Alos im reely exited rite nao becuz naxt weakand is homcomen at my skool (wich mens I mite not be abel 2 rite a chaptar naxt fryday or satarday jus given a wranin). Naxt weak my frishman clas is gona vot 4 the prittest gurl in r clas and if I win ill get to stand naxt 2 the winen gurls off the sofmar and junyor clasas and the HOMCUMEN KWEEN HERSALF. I alredy no that on off fiv gurls is goen 2 be the homcumen kween becuz the senyors alredy votad amon all of the senyors lats weak and the fiv boys and fiv gurls with the moats vots wer anonced and will be votad on by the antire skool 4 homecumen kween and keen wen we voet 4 the bets gurl and boy in r own clas. Aslo if I win the frashmen gurl voet ill rid in the parad with the boy who wins the froshman boy voet and everone wil see me with a boy and no im not a lesban. Liek ten difrant bois aksed me 2 the dans butt I didant reely feal anethin 4 aney off tham so I sed Id thank abot it. If the boy who wins the vot in my class isant singol Ill prolly go back 2 the most poplar off thos otter guys and say Ill go wiht him.

CHAP 17: THE DART FORST

I runned in2 the wods with Lucina chasen me. I noed I had 2 get awey butt she wuz runnen rilly fassed behid me. I wuz gettin sloed don bye ech branch wile she cold jus cute tham with her sord. Son I runned in2 a cleerin in the wods.  
"Giv up Sara theres nowere u can hid!" sed Lucina.  
"Nevar!" I sed "I dont wana bee a lesban!"  
"2 bad!" sed Lucina.  
Sudanly a hug bare entared the cleerin.  
"Rore" sed the bare becuz it wuz a bare.  
"Ha! No i hav a bare 2 halp me!" I sed.  
"Lol ur stooped ho do u no the bare wont ateck u insted off me?" sed Lucina.  
"Becuz all the anemals r Gods crechurs and they wil protract a Christen liek the tiem the Bibal wen lyons woldant ateck that guy and the otter tim wen god send a bare 2 kil sum pepole who wer bean meen 2 Christens. Both of thos theens reely hapan there in the Bibal" I sed.  
"Ha! I dont beleev in God or the Bibal becuz im a librul athist lesban!" sed Lucina "besids God is captar bye Satin rite nao how do u no the anemals dont werk 4 Stan nao?"  
Lucina had a pint all I cold do wuz hop and prey that the bare wold ateck Lucina insted off me.  
"Rore" the bare sed. It runned at Lucina. I wuz saev! And than a otter bare came. And sum lyons and sum tiggers and sum wlofs and sum otter reely stron anemals. And sum eegles flyd ot of the ski becuz not onely r they Gods kreachers there alos the cymbals of Amrecia so they dont liek the libruls destroyen the constatushan. Lucina wuz gettin malled by the anemals butt than I remamberd all the gud tims we had b4 she wuz a lesban and I feel gilty and noed I had 2 let her liv so she cold be mad strate agen becuz if she dyed rite nao shed go2 Hell for shur.  
"Wate stap!" I sed "dont kil her!"  
All tha anemals stop ateckin Lucina and startad wankin awey. Lucina wuz stil aliv butt she wuz 2 injar r rap me so she runned awey. No taht Lucina wasant a thret 4 nwo I new I had 2 get bak 2 Manshan b4 mornen wen Mastar Hand cheked 2 maek shur I didant leev. I new Lucina cold jus entar the Manshan thro the frant dore becuz Mastar Hand did say she cold leev ditenshun at aney tim. Butt I had 2 fine a ladar. I desided 2 go2 were Rine and Fiona and Gud Clon Sara wer stayen and ask tham were the putt the leder.  
"Hear it bluddy is" sed Rien and he giv me ladar and I wented bak 2 Manshan and climed in thro the widow bak 2 ditenshun rome. Lucina wuz stil aliv and had sum bad-aids ovar all the injures frum the anemals in the forats who savde me.  
"Ons thes injares r heel im gona maek u a lesban Sara" she sed "jus u wate. A buncha anamols wont saev u naxt tim."  
I noed I coldant get luky 4evar I noed al I cold do wuz prey that Mark and his dad wold fine a cur 2 maek Lucina strate agen so she woldant want 2 rap me anemore. The naxt day Mastar Han aksed Lucina were she gotted al the injars frum.  
"I gotted tham becuz I wented in2 the forast last nite 2 pik sum flowars" she sed "and than sum anemals atecked."  
"No! The anemals atecked becuz she wuz a evul lesban and wuz tryen 2 rap me!" I sed.  
"Thats ridikolos. Wy wold she be try 2 rap u in the forast wen ur supose 2 be in ditenshun. Unles u braked the rools and escap in wich case ill giv u evan moor ditenshun" sed Nastier Hanes.  
"No Sara wuz in ditenshun the hole tim" Lucina sed "I wantad 2 supris her by given her the fowlers as a sine of frendship butt I ges she stil hats me."  
"Ok its 2 bad Saras so intolerate" Mastur Hans sed "butt u reely ned 2 get 2 a hospetal 4 ur injars 2 be heel and than us Odamacar 2 maek hard werkin job craters liek Saras dad pay 4 it becuz soshalizum is grate."


	18. CHAP 18: DITENSHUN IS OVAR

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ditenshun is finaley ovar butt their stil iz no cur 4 Lucina bean a lesban. Wut wil hapan?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2day wuz the day wen we gotted 2 viot on the Homcumen Keen and Homcumen Kween and aslo on the beast frishman gurl and boi. I votad 4 miself 4 bast froshmen gurl obveusly and I piked the prittest off the fiv opshens 4 Homcomeon Kween. Her nam is Emily and she haz lon wavey rad hare and a smil that shos of her perfact teth. Butt shes a senyor and im jus a fishman so she dosant notas me. 2 yares iago wen my bruther Jsoh wuz a senyor amd Emily wuz a softmare he aksed her ot and she sed no and than my bruther sed she was a hore and a slot and a batch. Butt shes way 2 pritty 2 be aney off thos thins. 4 Homcumen Keen and tha friedman boi I votad 4 hoo sum otter gurls in my homrum sed they wer votan 4 becuz thye wer strate gurls and as anotter strate gurl I liek the sam kins off guys as tham.

CHAP 18: DITENSHUN IZ OVARY

It wuz the day ditenshun was supos 2 and an I wuz vary scare becuz Math and his dad stil didant fine the cur. That ment Lucina dan me wold hav 2 go bak 2 r rom and she wold rap me 4 shur and noone cold protract me not evan Sholk. I preyed al the tim that a cur wold be fond butt it wuz no us becuz God and Jesas wer captar and their wuz noone 2 ansar my prares. Lucina wuz heel at the hospatal duren this tim and the hardwerkin joeb craters off Nientedo Word had 2 paye forit becuz off Obaba Caer. Matter Han entar the ditenshun rom were Me an Lucina an Sholk wer.  
"Ok ditenshun is ovar nao u hav 2 gobak 2 ur romes" he sed.  
"Ar u shur I cant go2 a difrant rom?" I sed.  
"No u cant u ned 2 lern that homasexalty is ok bye sharon The Room with Lucina" Mastar Hind sed.  
"BUTT SHELL RAP ME!!!" I sed.  
"No ur jus parnoyd and intolrent" sed Mister Gland "nao leev the ditenshan rome. And u gobak 2 ur rom 2 Sholk. Lucina u can do watevar u want becuz uv ben haven a hard tim with ur famely and frends bean mean 2 u."  
"Its ok" sed Lucina "Ill go bak 2 the rom with Sara and I promas that b4 2 lon she wont be a homophone anemore."  
"I hop ur rite" sed Mastur Hump. So I had no choos but 2 gobak 2 my rom. Sholk cam with me butt he wold hav 2 leev at nite and than Lucina wold rap me 4 shur.  
"Im gona taek a nap rite nao" Lucina sed "I ned 2 mak shur im awak at nite becuz wer gona hav lotsa lesban sax ons I mak u a lesban."  
"Wat shold I do?" I aksed Sholk.  
"I dont bluddy no" sed Sholk "ur the onely hop off saven God and Jesas and if u becum a lesban ull be on Satins sid and the wrold wold be DOME!!!"  
"Ino its turible" I sed.  
"Cold u 2 stap talken so lowd I ned 2 slep" Lucina sed.  
"No! If u dont slep nao u mite be 2 tried 2 rap me 2nite" I sed. It wuz my onely hop.  
"Ill tel Mastor Hamp on u if u dont be quite," sed Lucina. And than my hop wuz gon.  
So me and Sholk had 2 leev the rom. We finded Mark and aksed him if he fond a cur yet.  
"No sorey" he sed "my dad an I hav ben tryen this hole tim butt we cant get the rite ingredints."  
"Maybee Ican halp" sed Goy Roban "Lucinas us 2 bee my gurlfrend b4 she becam a lesban so it wold be grate if she wuz strait agen."  
"Ill halp 2" sed Grill Roben.  
"And wen Me an Pete had 2 leev Hevan we brot a buncha stuf that mite be the rite ingredonts" sed Palletowna "maybee wecan halp."  
"Grate!" I sed "butt I stil dont thank u can getit don bye tonite."  
"Unfortenanty no" sed Mart "and it wil be vary hared 2 surviv 2nite with ur stratenes intac."  
"I HAV EDEA!!!" sed Gurl Roban, looken vary hapey.  
"Wut? I sed  
"Wy dont u slep withme insted off with Lucina?" she sed.  
"Butt Mastar Han sed I coldant do that" I sed.  
"Than jus wate somewere saf frum lesbans in the manshan untel Mastur Hanes goes to slep himsalf" sed Gull Roban.  
"Yay!" I sed. I wold be saf.  
That nite I wated in the kichan 4 Moster Han 2 go2 his rome 2 slep adn than I went 2 Gurl Robens rom and falled aslep.  
"Sara... Sara..." I herd in my slep. I waked up and sawed Gurl Roban standen ovar me... and Lucina wuz wither!!!  
"Lucina jus cam in hear and mad me a lesban" sed Grul Roben.  
"And nao wer both gona maek u a lesban 2!" sed Lucina.  
Ono! This wuz evan wors than been stuk in a rom with 1 lesban! I wuz stuk with 2. Hao wold I sav miself?!


	19. CHAP 19: GUD CLON SARA CUMS BACK

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara is saev frum lesbans bye Gud Clon Sara.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So 2moro ill no 4 shur if i wun the voet or not butt I hav 2 wate 4 the asembli on frydae to no who the Homecumen Kween wil be. 2day I lerned sumthin that maek me angri tho. Aparentyl Laurens gurlfrend Kaetis skool is haven homecomen the sam weakand as my skool and Lauren is goen ther insted off breen Kaety hear. I men I gess I shold be hapey that they cant teem up and rap me butt I ned 2 meat Katiy in persan 2 fine ot if her noes is as big as it wuz in the pictar and if itis than Ican laff at her and aks if shes Jewash. Lauren wil aslo be skippen skool on fryday becuz it taks a lon tim 2 driv 2 Pensolvanya were Kaetee livs. I tolled the prinsipol of r skool abot this and he sad that it will be a unexcus absans butt all stoodants r alod ate of thos a yeer 4 theens liek siknas that they dont get a doktars noet 4 or 4 famely vakashuns and stuf b4 they get punash 4it so iff Lauren dose the propar paperwerk wen she gets bak and on of her parants calls the skool she wont be expel 4 jus haven 1. Tha ejacashun sistem in this contry is so librul byased!!!

CHAP 19: GUD CLON SARA CUMS BACH!

"Sara dont be afred" Gurl Roban sed "Iv onely ben a lesban 4 liek a minuet butt I alredy lik it moar than been strate."  
"It dosant matar! Lesbans r evul!" I sed.  
"Thats not wut u wil say wen u r a lesban!" sed Lucina. She tred 2 jamp on me butt I rold outa bad and she miss. Than I ran 4 the dore butt it wuz locke!  
"Ono!" I sed.  
"Yes nao u cant escap!" Gurl Roban sed. She rund at bee butt I dogged outa the whey and ran tords the widow. I opaned it and leep out onto a tree and start climen the tree 2 the grond. Lucina and Gurl Roban flowed me. I thot maybe I cold get 2 the wods agen and the anemals wold halp me butt their was 2 lesbans nao and they mite be abel 2 fite the anemals. So I trid 2 ran into town 2 see if maybe the polite wold halp evan if Mastar Han wuz the leeder of the aria so he wold probebly hiar libruls 4 be polis ofasers. It wuz my onely shat tho. Or atlest thats wut I thot.  
Sudanly I saw someon ahed off me. It wuz Gud Clon Sara.  
"Gud Clon Sara! Run! Lesbans r chasen me and thell prolly rap u and maek u Evul Clon Sara agen!" I sed.  
"I alredy no that" sed Gud Clon Sara "we hav a mined link becuz Im ur clon so I noed u wer in treble. I cum 2 saev u!"  
"Butt wat can u do to halp?" I sed. Gud Clon Sara wuz my clon so she wasant aney moar powarfel then me. Or at leest thats wut I thot.  
"U may haev lots ur God Powars" she sed "butt I stil hav the evul powars that Satin and Barak Oboma gived me. Expect Ill us tham 4 gud!"  
I gotted behin Gud Clon Sara and she fiared denim beems at Lucina and Gurl Roban.  
"Ono!" sed Gurl Roban "Gud Clon Sara iz 2 powarfel!"  
"We ned 2 retret!" sed Lucina. They runned awey.  
"Yay u saev me!" I sed "tanks!"  
"Ur welcum!" sed Gud Clon Sara. I huged me clon. Than we both went bak 2 the manshan. Wen we gotted their Mastor Han wuz waiten.  
"Gud Clon Sara u cant cum in hear ur not a Smashar!" he sed "I alredy dont liek haven 2 put on Sara in my manshan so Im not gona let a secant 1 jone."  
"Wel mayeb we can be a teem liek the Ike Climers (the faek rooster that Becky mad dosant hav them soi no its faek)" I sed.  
"Grr..." sed Mister Hung. Butt he didant hav a choose. And sins Me and Gud Clon Sara wer a teem that ment we had 2 shar a rome and I finelly gotted ot off bean in The Room with Lucina.  
The naxt day Math wuz evan sader.  
"Not onely is my sistar a lesban butt my gurlfrend is on 2!" he sed.  
"And my sistar is a lesban 2 nao!" sed Guy Roban.  
"Wy do u thenk I maed her a lesban Mark" it wuz Lucina!  
"Becuz she wuz in the rome wen u cum 2 get me?" I sed.  
"No. I wuz goen 2 lok 4 u aftar I maed Gurl Roban a lesban. The fakt that u wer in the saem rum was jus a bonas" sed Lucina "I wantad 2 maek Gurl Roban a lesban so I cold steel my brothars gurlfrend frum him. Becuz he mad me angry bye not bean ok with me bean a lesban."  
"Butt lesbans r evul!" sed Mart.  
"Ino we r" sed Lucina "but im ur sitar and u sholdant try 2 chang me."  
"Butt im tryen 2 fax u and maek u strate liek u wer b4" sed Marp.  
"Butt im muck hapyer nao that im a lesban" sed Lucina "and Gurl Roban is hapiar with me than she wuz with u. She tolled me hersalf."  
"God wil send u both 2 Hell wen u dye!" I sed.  
"Not if u fale 2 saev him from Satin" sed Lucina "and Ill maek shur that Saten wins bye maken u a lesban 2. U mite be abel 2 hid behid ur clon nao, butt Ill fine a way 2 rap u aneyway!"  
Than Lucina walk awey laffing evully.


	20. CHAP 20: THE RETUNE OF MATTEL FASE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Motel Fake cums bak aftar bean awey 4 a lon tim.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO EXCITE!!! I WAN!!! IM THE PRITTEST GURL IN THE FRENCHMAN CLAS!!!! The boi who win alredy has gurlfrend so I coldant ask him 2 be my dat. Butt I went bak 2 on off the gusy who ask me 2 homecumen erlier and sed I wold go with him so its ok and nao that I hav a dat with a boi noone can call me a lesban. Aslo Im reely hapey 4 my frend Chloe who wan 4 the junyor gurls. I meen, I alredy noed she wuz reely pritty butt its nise that pepole in her clas thank so 2.
> 
> Aslo iv ben playen moar Xenablad thes lats few days butt Iv ben haven treble with that evil robat naem Zard who captar Shalas bruther. Hes reely hard 2 beet in the either mien. Can I avod fitten him liek I did the levol 81 monstar in the Byones Lag?

CHAP 20: THE RETARD OF MATEL FASE

It wuz a few dais latur and everon had 2 putt up with Lucina and Gurl Roben bean a lesban cuple. They wold laff with each otter alot and kiss and hold hans and it wuz discussin 2 se 2 gurls do that, evan if they wer boht reely pritty. Sharen the rome with Gud Clon Sara was much beater than sharen on with Lucina tho. Aftar I leeved, Lucina deside 2 shar rom with her noo gurlfrend insted and everay nite we cold here the sonds of lesban sax cumen frum there rome. I constently imagen wut they muts be doen 2 each otter in their. We had 2 fine a cur and maek them numel agen.  
That day Me and Gud Clon Sara wer teemin up (we conted as 1 caretaker nao) with Sholk 2 fite Lucina and Gurl Roban. As we wated 4 the naxt mach 2 start, I stard at Lucina and Gurl Roban kissen each otter. It wuz so discussing and evul! They staped kissen wen the mach wuz abot 2 start, butt than Gurl Roban runed on off her fingars don the soft skin on the sid of Lucinas fase.  
"Gud luk my love" Gurl Roban sed "Ill maek shur thes consurvatev Christens dont hurt u. I luv u!"  
"I luv u moar!" Lucina sed. She gived Gurl Roban on last kis on the lip b4 we wer telaportad on2 the batolfeld stag.   
Me and Gud Clon Sara wer on the botom patr wile Lucina, Gurl Roban, and Sholk wer on the otter platfoarms. I noed Mastar Hond mustve plan this 2 make it easer 4 Lucina and Gurl Roban 2 jump don and rap me and Gud Clon Sara. That wuz reely meen off him. And jus liek that they jamped don and tred 2 rapus lik I thot. Butt we dogged outa the whey and Sholk hitted tham with the Moscowdo. They fleyed of butt mad it back to stooge. Than Gud Clon Sara startad shatten her deman beems at tham witch did moar damag butt they still came bak. I had 2 folow Gud Clon Sara arond becuz we wer a teem so I runed aftar her as she dashed in 2 fite Lucina and Gril Roben up close, even if I had no powars and wuz afred they wold rap me. Then wile we were distract tham Sholk sneeked up behide and use his bcakslush to nok them of the stag and maek them los a stok eech.  
"I thank wecan win this!" I sed. Butt I wuz spekan 2 son becuz sudanly Matel Fase fly up.  
"Im bak u wankars!" he sed.  
"Ono!" sed Sholk "and ur the reel wankar Meatball Fate!"  
"Ya!" I sed.  
"Wel Im hear to captar Sara and taek her 2 be rap by Lauren and Katey agen and theres noting u bluddy wankars can do abot it" he sed. Than he sawed that me and Gud Clon Sara wer boht their.  
"Witch on off u 2 is the reel Sara?" he sed.  
"Im the Reel Sara!" Gud Clon Sara sed.  
"No!" I sed "if ur rap bye Lauren adn Kati ull becum a lesban and bee Evul Clon Sara agen!"  
"Its ok" sed Gud Clon Sara "I beleve that ull fine the cur agen and maek me strate. And ull mak Lucina and Gurl Roban strate agen 2."  
"Tanks 4 beleve in me" I sed. Than Gud Clon Sara walk up 2 Metro Fase and letted him garb her.  
"I wont let u get awey with this u wankar!" sed Sholk. He runed at Meetal Fax and try 2 kil him with the Monsanto butt it didant werk. Mental Fave taked Gud Clon Sara and flyed awey.  
Wen the mach wuz ovar Sholk and I noed wat we need 2 do. We neded 2 go find were Mital Fase had taek Gud Clon Sara b4 Lauren and Kaeti rap her!


	21. CHAP 21: SAEV GUD CLON SARA!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara neds 2 sav her clon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jus a remainder that I wonjt be maken noo chaptars 4 the naxt 2 dyas becuz off hoamcumen. Tomoro aftar skool is the parad and than the fotball gaem. Organically I didant want 2 go 2 the gaem evan tho thats were the parad ands becuz I thot onely lesbans and guys liek to go2 fotball gaems. Butt my mom sed its perfactly numel 4 strait womans 2 go2 fotball gaems 2 wach the gud-lookin boys getin swety and stuf. And she sed she wuz gona bee their aneway so I dont ned 2 get a rid hoam. On sitarday is the hoamcumen dans itsalf wich Ill have 2 spand the hole day getin reedy 4. So tahts wy u wont see chaptar 22 of this storey until sundae aftar chirch.

CHAP 21: SAV GUD CLON SARA

Me and Sholk noed wed hav 2 hurray if we wantad 2 sav Gud Clon Sara b4 Lauren and Catty rapped her 2 mak her Evul Clon Sara agen. Than I wold hav 2 shar a rom witha lesban liek I did with Lucina. I wuz shur that Mastar Han stil woldant let me swatch romes. The problam wuz that I didant no were Matel Fase wuz taken my clon. Than sudanly Sholks eys glod bloo.  
"That mens ur sean the futur!" I sed.  
"Rite" sed Sholk "Metool Fase is taek Gud Clon Sara 2 Boners Lag in my wrold!!!"  
"Ono!" I sed. I rembrandt tha reely stron mobsters their liek the levol 81 thin.  
"Theirs lotsa tuff thins 2 fite their" sed Sholk "butt I hav ida!"  
Sholk leeded me 2 the rome were the itoms wer kepp 2 battals. We wented insid.  
"We ned 2 bee carful that Mister Hanf dosant fine us hear taken stuf" Sholk sed "we ned 2 fine the bluddy smosh blals."  
"Ok" I sed. So we fond sum Samsh Bails and stiked them in r shurts 2 hid tham wile we sneked ot of rome and than leev manshan 4 Sholk wrold.  
Wen we goted 2 Sholk wrold 2 bonas log I sawed the Levil 81 monstar.  
"Im gona bluddy kil u Sara!" sed monstar.  
"No u wont!" I sed. I taked on off the smatt bells ot of my shit and usde it. Than I turd in2 a angle and fiared hevanly beems at the monstar 2 kilit ons and feral.  
"That wuz bluddy grate!" sed Sholk.  
"Tanks" I sed. And we wented farter on2 beones lug.  
"Were is Gud Clon Sara?" I sed.  
"In my visan I sawed she wuz at the plas wer my frends and me meted Zord 4 first tim" sed Sholk.  
"Ok" I sed. So we wented their and hided in the pole of watar nerby. And we sawed Gud Clon Sara fitten Lauren and Katt and Middle Fase and Zork. Zors try 2 hit her with his humor butt she dogged and hited him with a denim beem. Than Mitel Fase usd his claus butt she dogged that 2. And Lauren and Kitty kep tryen 2 rap her butt she was fastar then them.  
"We hav 2 halp!" I sed.  
"Ok" sed Sholk. I gotted ot anotter Smash Balk and activia my finale smhas. I fly up asan angle and joned the batal.  
"Ono!" sed Lauren "Sara haz her finale smash!"  
"Dont worey my luv she has 2 us a smashbal 2 us it becuz she dosant hav Gods powars anemore" sed Karty "that mens it wil were of"  
I noed Katay wuz rite so I had 2 hurray. I fiared a beem of hevanly lite at the lesbans and the robats and noked all 4 off tham awey. Butt they gotted bak up and runed tards me agen.  
"Ican halp!" sed Gud Clon Sara. She stil had the evul powars that Stan and Brock Obana gived her so she clod activ her finael smash withot a smah bal. And so shedid and turd in2 her falan angle fomr evan tho she wuzant evul anemore. Than I fiared a gud beem and she fiared a evul beem and the 2 beems combaned and hitted Mteal Fase and Zord and they both bowled up.  
"Ono!" sed Lauren an Katay and withot the robats 2 halp tham they noed they wer lose and runed awey. Both Me and Gud Clon Sara turd bak 2 normel.  
"Yay!" sed Gud Clon Sara "u saved me!"  
"That wuz bluddy awsom" sed Sholk.  
"Butt theres sumthin reely impotent" sed Gud Clon Sara "the evul pepole wer talkan 2 me becuz they thot I wold be rapped in2 a lesban 4 shur and bee on there sid. I no were God and Jesas r captar."  
"Were?" I sed.  
"They r bean captar depp within the steventh sirkol of Hell itsalf!" Gud Clon Sara sed.


	22. CHAP 22: THE KEES 2 HELL

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara neds 2 fine the steven keese 2 get 2 the savant sirkol off Hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im bak frum my brake becuz u libruls cant get rad off me. Homecumen wuz grate! Emily wuz homecumen kween and I gotted 2 stadn neer her at the asombly and she evan talked 2 me at the dans and she congratilated me 4 winen the frishman thin and sed she licked my drass! I aksed her if she wantad 2 hav a slo dans with me butt it woldant be a lesban thin becuz were boht strait butt she sed no and wakled awey and didant talk 2 me agen. Im shur ill fine awey 2 be frends with her. Chloe wuz throwan an aftar partey butt she warned me not to cum becuz she sed that Barak Oboma called and sed hed sho up uninvitad and if I wuz their hed captar me and taek me 2 sum lesbans who wold rap me. Chloe is a gud frend 4 warnen me abot that.

CHAP 22: THA KEEZ 2 HALL

"God an Jesas r bean keep in Hell?!" I sed.  
"Ya theyar" sed Gud Clon Sara.  
"Ho can we fine tham? I meen, I no evul pepole go2 Hell wen they dye butt im strate anda Christen so ill go2 Hevan. Their hasto be anotter wey wecan get into Hell withot dieting" I sed.  
"Ther wuz sumthin eels that Lauren and Katey tolled me" Gud Clon Sara sed "their r sevan kees that can get u thro the sevon sirkols off Hell 2 were God and Jesas r captar."  
"OK so we ned 2 fine thes kees" sed Sholk  
"Ya butt theres treble" sed Gud Clon Sara.  
"Their alweys is..." I sed.  
"Satin dosant jus leev thes kees lyan arond he givs tham 2 reely powarfel and impotent evul pepole" sed Gud Clon Sara.  
"Do u no woh aney off thes pepole r?" I aksed.  
"No" sed Gud Clon Sara "butt they hav 2 bee moar powarfel than Motel Fase and Zard becuz thos 2 didant hav aney keese. And Harey Potar didant hav 1 ether."  
"Rite" I sed "Ho eels do we no whos evul?"  
"Lauren prolly has 1!" sed Sholk.  
"Taht sonds pritty likly" I sed "butt she an Kaeti runed awey so we dont no were theyar. And I dont thank Lucina or Gurl Roban wold hava kee becuz they wer gud untel not 2 lon ago."  
"We hav 2 do sum reserch" sed Sholk.  
Me and Gud Clon Sara groned. I hatted reserch and sins Gud Clon Sara wuz my clon she hatted it 2. We had 2 go2 the librery off the manshan and fine boks abot evul pepole. We retuned 2 the Manshan and wented 2 the reely hug librery.  
"Crazi Hemp were r the boks abot evul pepole?" I sed.  
"R u gona do sumthin intolerate with tham" sed Crapy Hans "becuz my bruther sed not 2 let u do that evan if u giv me munny."  
"No we jus ned 2 fine who the most powarfel and impotent evul pepole r" I sed.  
"OK" sed Krazoa Hanes "Folo me 2 tha evul deportment."  
Me and Gud Clon Sara and Sholk folod Crass Hound 2 the evul boks. We fond sum boks with list of evul pepole init and cheked thos boks ot off the librery. It wented withot saiyan that Brock Obuma prolly had a kee, andif Lauren had 1 to that ment we onely had 2 fine were the otter five keese wer. Satin wuz obvesuly the moast impotent and powarfel evul persan butt he prolly didant kep a kee 4 himsalf.  
"Im gessin Satin wold prolly want 2 spred the kees ot amon a buncha pepole frum a buncha difrant wrolds" sed Sholk "Lauren and Barak Obema prolly hav the onely 2 kees in the reel world so the otter muts be in tha difrant patrs of Nentindo Wrold."  
"Rite" I sed. As we wer redin sudanly Ganandarf walk bye.  
"Hey Ganandarf!" I sed.  
"Wut?" he sed.  
"Ur evul rite?" I sed.  
"Yes iam" he sed.  
"Do u hav on off the kees 2 Hell?" I sed.  
"Yes butt im not given it 2 u!" than he runed awey.  
"Aftar him!" I sed. So Me and Gud Clon Sara and Sholk runed aftar Gandalf.


	23. CHAP 23: THE FARST KEE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara and everon muts fite Fanondorf 2 get tha furst kee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wy dose everon kep saiyan im in tha closat? I meen my closat is reely big and has lotsa nise cloths butt thats not were my commuter is so I woldant tipe my storey in their. Libruls muts be reely pore and stooped and lazey if they dont hav enuff rome in their hose and hav 2 putt ther commuter in tha closat, butt im rich so I dont hav 2.
> 
> Im tryen 2 c pictars frum the hoamcumen Lauren wented 2 at Kaetis skool butt Lauren didant putt tham wer ican c tham! Wy iz she bean so meen 2 me? Akshully I no tha ansar 2 that its becuz shes a evul lesban. She aslo ussed her evul lesban powars to maek me hav a dreem that the 2 off us wer haven my dreem wedding... expect it wuz ron becuz im nota lesban and becuz no lesbans shud be aloed 2 be marrey!
> 
> Alos I finelly betted that Zord guy in Xenablad and than I had 2 fite him agen butt he wuz easer. Than Matel Fase wuz bak and he akshully talk this tim. And nao im in a sawmp and evary nite tha monstars get reely reely powarfel. This gaem is reely hadr!

CHAP 23: THA FORST KEE

Me and Gud Clon Sara and Sholk runed aftar Gananderp and he runed to tha rof off the manshan.  
"Ha nao u cant escap!" I sed "we hav 2 fite!"  
"And u wil dye!" sed Tampondorf.  
"No u will lost!" I sed. I puled ot a gun and shat Ganonsurf butt he bloked it with evul powar.  
"Ha! U cant beet me!" he sed. Than he usde a evul ateck butt Sholk bloked it with the Montpelier. Than Gud Clon Sara shat sum evul beems at Ganandarf and noked him outa the ski and Sholk hit him with the Montague.  
"Ow" sed Vanondirf.  
Butthan Gabendorf gotted up and usde sum otter aztecs onus.  
"Ono!" I sed. It wuz reely panefel.  
"Ned sum halp?" I herd. It wuz Lonk!!! He stated hitan Garbanzorf with the Mister Sord.  
"Owl!" sed Banondork.  
"Givup!" I sed "U r lose!"  
"Nevar!" sed Hamondorf. He mad a reely big bal off evul and shat it atus butt Lenk defrocked it bakat him. Butthan Gamonderf defected it bak atus agen! This kep goen and goen until finale it hit Danongorf. Nao everone teemed up and startad beetin him up.  
"Givus the kee!" I sed.  
"No!" sed Fanonderp.  
"Well kep beatan u up than!" I sed.  
Butthan he stodup and pinched me so hared I flied of the rof off the Manshan and landad in the moot. Lukly the waiter braked my fail butt nao I had 2 ran all the whey bak 2 the rof agen. I runed passed Mastur Hen in the Manshan on my whey 2 the rof.  
"Hey! No runen in the Manshan!" he sed. Butt I wuz in 2 muk off a hurray 2 car. Wat I didant notas wuz that he startad folowen me. I retuned 2 the ruf and saw everon wuz stil fitten Nagondorf. Mustard Hanes flayed onto the rof aftar me and sawed wut wuz hapan.  
"Wats the meenin off this?" He sed.  
"We ned 2 get on off the keese 2 Hell frum Gafandorf!" sed Gud Clon Sara.  
"Is this troo Ganandorf?" sed Mastar Hans.  
"Ya their tryen to steel my kee" he sed.  
"Well steelin is ron so im not gona let tham hav it" sed Mastur Han "butt ur evul so wer u gona us the kee 4 evul?"  
"Off coarse" sed Ganindeaf.  
"Ok than Ill jus kepp this kee in my orifice and nun off u can hav it" Mister Hund taked the kee frum Ganindarf and retuned 2 his orifice.  
"Wel at leest u cant us the kee 2 sav God and Jesas nao!" sed Gonadarf. He laffed evully and leeved.  
"Ono!" I sed "this mens well ned 2 sneek in2 Mastar Hens ofess 2 get a kee!"  
"Wel wecan sav that 4 latar lets fine the otter kees nao" sed Sholk.


	24. CHAP 24: BOWSAR HAS THE SECANT KEE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara and frends tyr 2 get tha secant kee frum Bowsar butt sumthin gos ron!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So 2day I lerned on the intranet that the karectars that Becky sed wer in the gam r akshully in the gam. Im gessin she saw I wuzant buyen her faek list so she caled Barak Oboma and gotted him 2 maek the pepole maken the gaem put thos caractors in. So Dick Cunt and Derp Kit and Dr Mairo and Booze Janitor r reely in tha gaem nao becuz off Obaba.

CHAP 24: BOSORE HAS TEH SECANT KEE

Rite aftar Mister Hemp taked Ganandarfs kee to his oface Me and Gud Clon Sara and Sholk and all the otter Christens startad luken 2 tha naxt kee. We reded boks 4 a few days with no mor cloos. We had halp frum Dr Moria who wuz the thurd Maryo bruther expect he wuz a doktar insted off a plumer. He had 2 cum 2 Manshan and jone fites becuz Obomacarp wuz hurten his doktar buznes and he didant hav enuf munny. Also Duke Bunt wuz their butt he wuz a dog so he coldant halpus becuz dougs cant do anethin expect barf. I wented ot off the rome and sawed Pete expect that wuz werd becuz he wuz alos in the rom helpin us. This Put had blak cloths and blak wangs and blak hare so I thot he wuz a emu kid. I wented ovar 2 ask him if he wuz emu butt Poontina staped me.  
"No Sara wachot!" she sed "thats Drak Pete. He's Pets idtentacle twin bruther expect wen Satin concurred Hevan he rapped him so hes gay and evul nao."  
"Ono!" I sed. I retuned 2 the roam were we wer loken 4 cloos abot were the otter keese wer.  
It wuz a few dyas latur with still no cloos wen sudanly Sholks frend Fyora fond sumthin.  
"I bluddy fond sumthin!" she sed.  
"Isit the secant kee?" I sed.  
"Mayeb. I ned 2 chek sumthin ot" she sed. She leeved the rome. A few minuets latar she cam bak and loked vary scar.  
"Wuts ron Fiona?" sed Sholk.  
"I red in a bok that Bowsar mite hav the secant kee so I went 2 his rome and tolled him to givit 2 me butthan he jus rap me!" Foira sed.  
"Ono!" I sed "well at leest Bowsars a guy so bean rapped by him dosant tune gurls into lesbans."  
"Rite" sed Fyora "butt sumthin bad did hapan. Im preggant nao!"  
"Ono!" sed everone.  
"Water u gona do nao?" sed Sholk.  
Sudanly Lucina and Gurl Roban walk in2 the rome.  
"We coldant halp butt overhere" sed Gurl Roban.  
"Dont worey Fyora. Sins me and Gurl Roban r librul lesbans nao we no wut u can do abot tha babey" Lucina sed "U shold get a aberration!"  
Sudanly Mister Han flyed in.  
"Lucinas rite. Sins Ima librul I thenk womans shold not be punash 4 bean slots who hav sax outsid mirage and they shold be allow 2 kil babeys" Mustard Hanes sed.  
"NO! IMA CHRISTEN!!!" Florida sed "Im gona hav the babey and raze it liek a women shold."  
"U no wut this meens rite?" sed Plootena.  
"BABEY SHOWAR!!!" sed alof the Christen gurls includen me.


	25. CHAP 25: THA BABBY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara gose 2 Fyoras babey showar and tha babby is bored and than sumthin surprizen hapans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I gotted a bit farter in2 Xenabald and nao im in the jungol plase and anotter gurl is with me name Meala. Shes relly pritty and stuf. I hop she dosant dye liek Fiona did (evan tho shes stil aliv in my storey). Not muk eels is hapan rite nao butt its onely ate days untel the noo Smash Bras gaem cums and than its almos helowin and than KRISSmos wil be rite arond the coroner unles the libruls sukseed wen thye try 2 stap it this tim.
> 
> Aslo its gud that the noo Smsha gaem is potable becuz my dad is goen awey on a buznas trip on Sundae the fiveth of octobar (aftar chirch off coarse) and wil be gon a hole weak. My dad gos on tree of thes a yeer 4 his joeb and my mom uselly wants me 2 leev the hose on at leest a few off those days rite aftar I cum hoam frum skool becuz she sez if I spand all my tim insid I mite get fat and fat gurls get desprat and becum lesbans becuz no guys want tham (thats wy theres so maney fat uglay lesbans liek Roosey Odanel. Alos this is the resin my mom givd 4 wy vido gaems mite turd me in2 a lesban wen I aksed her abot that butt she sez Ill be ok as lon as I dont get fat).

CHAP 25: TEH BABEY

It wuz a few dais b4 the babey showar and Me and Gud Clon Sara wer at the mal loken 2 bye babby presants 4 Foira. It wuzant eesy 2 fine presants becuz we didant no ifit wood be a boi ora gurl.  
"Loki at thes!" sed Gud Clon Sara. She wuz holden a nise babey toy that she fond "I wuz thinken abot buyan thes 4 tha babey butt im jus a clon and ur the reel Sara so u shod hav furst dibs."  
"Tanks" I sed. I garbed the toy and than Gud Clon Sara gotted anotter toy that wuz almos a nise butt not as gud as the on I bot becuz she didant want 2 be meen and upstag me.  
A few das lator it wuz the babby showir itsalf and allof the Christen gurls in the Manshan wer their and Sharka and Melea frum Xenablad wer their 2 becuz they wer Fionas frends. It wuz grate haven so maney pritty strate Christen gurls in on plase and their wer no bois becuz they dont belon at a babey showar. I woshed that Lucina and Gurl Roban wer stil strait so they cold cum 2. Butt if u putt lesbans in a rome with this maney pritty gurls they wold rap everon and than their wold be lotsa lesbans.  
My presant 4 Fyora wuz the beast off them all and everone wuz haven a gud tim. Sudanly Fyora stated scremin in pane.  
"THE WAITER BROCK IM GOEN INTO LABAR!!!" she sed.  
"Quack we hav 2 go2 a doktar!" sed Palootena.  
"Lets fond Dr Maryo hes a doktar!" I sed.  
"Thats a bluddy gud idea" sed Melea. So we wented 2 Dr Mayos rom and noked on the dore.  
"Wut is it?" he aksed.  
"Foira is goen in2 labar shes abot 2 giv burth!!!" I sed.  
"Ok Ican handel thes" sed Dr Marik "lets go 2 my operatan rome"   
So we leeded Fyora 2 the rome and putted her on the tabel. Than Dr Maryo gotted the babey ot. It wuz Bowsar Junor!  
"Mwa! Ha! Ha! Im evul jus liek my farther!" he sed.  
"No! U ned 2 be Christen!" sed Fiona.  
"Ok mom" sed Boozer Junor.  
Sudanly Bowsar came.  
"So u gived burth 2 my sun sorey abot rappen u" he sed "I reded the bibal wile u wer preggant and I desided 2 be a Christen. Aslo it sez in the Bibal wen a man raps a women he has 2 marey her 2 prov shes not a slut who liks haven sax outsid mirage."  
Bowsar gotted ot a weddin reen.  
"Ok if thats wut the Bibal sez" sed Fiona "Sara I want u 2 be made of boner at the weedin."  
"YAY!" I sed.  
"And 2 prov im gud nao hears the kee 2 Hell that I had" Bowsar gived me the kee. I wuz so excite! Their wuz gona be a weddin and I wuz tha made off honar and aslo I onley had 6 otter keese 2 Hell to get b4 I cold saev God and Jesas! Everthin wuz grate!


	26. CHAP 26: THA WEDAN OFF FOIRA AND BOWSAR

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fiona and Bowsar get marryed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writen a chaptar abot a wedan remidns me abot a storey my mom tolled me abot wen she and my dad gotted marreyed. My mom had a bets frend who she wantad 2 be made off honar butt that frend wuz asan and my dad sed no pepole who wernt wite wer aloed at the weddin. My mom gotted mad abot that and argu butthan she remamber the Bibal sed that womens had to obay mens and she stop arguen. She wuz alweys afred that God wold punash her for arguen with my dad liek wen it turd ot that Lauren wuz a lesban my mom wuz afred that God mite off mad me a lesban 2 punash my mom and the onely whey 2 maek me strate wold be 4 my mom 2 prey for forgivnas. Butt Im not a lesban so my mom dosant hav 2 worey.

CHAP 26: TEH WIDON OFF FYORA AND BOOZER

It wuz a few weks latar and it wuz the wedin off Fiona and Bosar. Ass made of honar I had impotent jabs 2 do 2 halp Fyora with the wedin. I halped her pikout the beast drass they had in the stor that mad her lok vary pritty. Adn aslo she piked drasses 4 me and the otter bridsmads who wer Milea and Sharon and Petch and Xaldin and Roselia and Pollutena and Gud Clon Sara. R drasses wernt as pritty as Fionas butt it wuz ok becuz she wuz the braid and it wuz her bog day. I aslo werked with Maryo becuz sins Bowsar wuzant evul anemore they wer frends and Bowsar mad him teh beastman.  
The wedin startad with Pet (who wuz the pastar becuz hes an angle) and Bowsar alredy at the altar. Than the bridsmads wer escart buy the gromsmans. Gud Clon Sara wuz escarted bye Sholk and Patella wuz escarted bye Rine and Rozalin wuz escarted bye a gumba and Peech wuz escarted bye a kopa and Zolda wuz escarted bye Lunk and Shurla wuz escarted bye Lueji and Miles wuz escarted bye Doktar Mayro. Than I wuz naxt bean escarted bye Maryo. I wantad 2 maek it 2 the altar quakly becuz it wuz almos Fyoras tim and I wantad to wach her walken don the isle in her pritty drass. Wen I retched the alter aria I stod closar than the otter bridsmads becuz I wuz moar impotent.   
Than I loked don the isle as the hear cums the brid sung startad playen. The gurl Ike Climer wuz the flour gurl becuz she wuz the onely gurl their who wuz yung enuf. She throwed flours at the grond 2 leed the whey 4 Fyora who wuz escart bye Dungbin (I no hes her bruther not her dad im not stooped butt I dont no who there dad is. Is it Hukl Hogen?). Behide tham wuz Nas who wuz the ring bear (Bowsar Junor wantad 2 be butt he wuz onely a few weaks odd witches 2 yung 2 hav such an impotent joeb). Wen everone wuz at the altair Bowzor and Fiona fased each otter and Put startad to speck.  
"Wev gatharad hear 2day 2 jone thes 2 pepole in holey matermany" he sed "Fyora do u take Bowsar 2 be ur hubband?"  
"Ido" sed Foira.  
"And Boozer do u taek Fiona 2 be ur wief?" sed Pot.  
"Ido" sed Boswar.  
"Than bye the powar vestad in me bye r Lard Jesas Criss I denounce u man and wief u may no kis the braid" sed Pete.  
And so they kised and it wuz tim 4 the resepshan. As made off honar I had a spech 2 giv.  
"Im glade that u 2 desided 2 be marreyed. Fyora u ned 2 remamber that God sez 2 do watevar Bowsar tels u or eels ull go2 Hell. Aslo u lok reely pritty in ur drass butt im nota lesban" I sed. Everone claped. Than Maryo gived his speech. Than their wuz a buncha dansen.  
I wuz dansen with Math 2 a sloo son.  
"Ur relly pritty Sara" he sed.  
"Tanks" I sed "sorey abot ur gurlfrend bean a lesban."  
"Its ok im shur me and my dad will fine a cur sun" he sed. Than he kised me. I meen I wuz daten Sholk butt sins Im completly strate I kised him bak.  
Sudanly I gotted a cal on my fone. I pulled it ot and ansered it.  
"Sara tell Bowsar and Fyora that Im sorey I coldant mak it 2 the weedin butt me and my dad finelly fond the cur" Mark sed on the fone. Butt if that wuz Matt on the fone than who wuz I dansen with? B4 I cold figar ot wut was goen on I sudanly had a bag ovar my hed.  
"Surprize Sara its me Lucina" the persan I wuz dansen with sed "and Im not gona let my bruther cur me!" (I remamber reedin sumwere that Lucina pritends 2 be Mark in on off there gaems. I rilly shold playit sum day butt theres a buncha Fried Album gaems I dont no witch on 2 get)  
Than Lucina draged me awey frum the wedin! Hao wold I escap this?!


	27. CHAP 27: WIL THE CUR BE IN TIM?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wil Mark get the cur 2 Sara b4 Lucina tunes her in2 a lesban?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jus reminden everon that its onely on weak untel tha noo Smash Broas gaem. Hopfely it is reelese b4 the vido gaem indastry is distroy. Wy doi say taht? Becuz femanasts r tryen to maek vido gaems ilegol. This is jus liek wen sekularest libruls try 2 distroy Crissmas evary yeer and wen gun-haten libruls try 2 taek awey al r guns. Expect this tim its the vido gams that libruls r tryen 2 tak awey. It al stated wen librul femanast antia sorkeesean mad sum vidos abot hao vido gaems r evul. Im shur she watns the guvmint 2 cum 2 everones hose and taek awey there vido gaems awey (prolly at the saem tim tehy cum 2 ur hose and tak ur guns awey). And nao anotter librul femanast naem zoy kwin had sax witha bunch off impotent vido gaem guys inarder 2 distroy the vido gaem indastry with her evul slotines. I wondar wy she didant try 2 hav sax with me evan tho im vary impotent 2 the vido gaem indastry i men this storey has ovar tree thosand huts so im shur if she had sax with me shed get al thos pepole 2 halp with her evul plan, butt im gald she didant becuz if she had sax withme than id be a lesban and im not a lesban becuz lesbans r bad (infact all thes femanast planes 2 distray vido gams remides me alot off the gay ajunda 2 turd al the kids in2 homasexals). I wanna say thet I supart gaemrgaet and I thenk u shod go fine sum otter pepole who supart it 2 becuz ther al jus as smrat as me expect they dont hav dislexa so theycan spel beather. Hopfely this ateck on vido gaems will halp yung pepole wakup and vot 4 republekans becuz conservatevs hav taken there sid jus like how we consirvatevs fite agents the War on Crissmos and the War on Gunz we fite the War on Vido Gaems becuz Gamars r jus as discrimenat agents as Christens and Gun Ownars in Barok Obabas Amerkia. Hopfuly pepole in my germination wil stap suparten librul soshalests nao and start voten republeken wen there old enuf becuz the amont of libruls in my aeg grope is discussing. Aslo u ned 2 defeet soshal justas wariers who r soshalests jus liek Brak Odama (tahts wy it sez "soshal" in there naem).

CHAP 27: WLIL THE CUR BEIN TIM!!?

Lucina taked me ot off the weddin with the bag ovar my hed so noone wold no it wuz me and I coldant cal 4 halp. Wen we wer otsid she taked the bag of and walkad me ovar 2 a car were Gurl Roban wuz watten.  
"Getin the bak" Lucina sed as she shaved me in2 the car. Than Lucina gotted in the pasanger seet and Gurl Roban gotted in the drivar seet.  
"Were r we goen?" I sed.  
"Sumwere in the midol of a dessert so noone can cum sav u becuz ther arnt evan forast anemals in the dessert" sed Gurl Roban.  
"Ono! Plese dont rap me!" I sed.  
"2 laet were boht gona maek u a lesban!" sed Lucina "it wuz the mishon that Lauren gived us."  
"Wut athority dose Lauren hav?" I sed.  
"Dont u no Sara? Satin maed Lauren the supreem rular off al lesbans becuz she halped him concur Hevan!" sed Lucina "Tahts wy she haz on off the kees 2 Hell!"  
I gess that maed sens. Than Gurl Roban startad up the cra and driv awey frum the wedin resepshan. Hopfully sumon wold notas I wuz gong and cum saev me, butt I didant no if they cold fine me in the midal off a dessert.  
"Ples! U 2 usde 2 be strait!" I sed.  
"And we r boht muk happyer nao that we dont hav 2 us self contral and stap arselfs frum acten on the urgas 2 hav sax with gurls" sed Lucina "ull be happyer 2 wen u dont hav 2 worey abot controlen urself and stayen strait and goen 2 Hevan."  
"I dont care abot bean hapey! God didant maek womans 2 dat otter womans!" I sed.  
"Wen wear dun u wont car abot God anemore" sed Gurl Roban "all u will want is lesban sax!"  
"Ples! I want 2 go2 Hevan!" I sed.  
"And if Satin is the rular off Hevan he wil let u in 4 bean an evul lesban!" sed Lucina "so we want 2 stap u frum saven God so wecan al hav as muhc lesban sax as we want withot goen 2 Hell."  
I tryed 2 unlok the dore 2 escap the car butt Gurl Roban keeped presan the buton 2 loki t agen wenevar I unlokde it. I tred 2 opan the widow butt it wuz on off thos cars wer the bak widows onely go don haffway and evan than Gurl Roban putt it up agen becuz she cold control al the loks and widows frum the drivars seet. It wuzant lon b4 we wer at the dessert. Than Gurl Roban driv the car of the rode and abot a mial in2 the midal of nowere and pakred it. Lucina and Gurl Roban gotted ot off the car and opaned the bak dore.  
"Im not getin out!" I sed.  
"If u dont than well jus rap u in the bak seet!" sed Lucina. I jumped ot off the car and stated runen awey b4 they cold garb me butt they gotted bak in the car and drivde aftar me and sins I coldant run fastar then a car I wuz cot easely.  
"Nao stop tryen to escap!" sed Gurl Roban "we kep tellin u taht u wil liek bean a lesban!"  
"It dosant matar!" I sed "lesbans r evul!"  
I tred 2 run awey agen butt the sam thin hapaned with tham catchen up to me in the car. My onely hop wuz to kep doen this until the car runed outa gas butt I remambered it almos at a fule tnak so I noed it wold tak awile. Butthan sudanly a pikup truk droved up.  
"Ono!" sed Lucina "its my dads truk! Quik get Sara bakin!"  
Butt it wuz 2 laet. I runed ovar and jumped in the bed off the truk. Than Math rolled don the passanger widow.  
"Lucina! Gurl Roban! we hav the cur 4 ur homasexalty!" he sed.  
"Butt we liek bean lesbans!" sed Lucina and Gurl Roban. They gotted in there car and drivde awey.  
"Aftar tham dad!" sed March.  
"Ok. Hane onto sumthin bak their Sara" sed Mark and Lucinas dad. He slamed on the excelsior and the truk startad chasen the car and a car chas had begon.


	28. CHAP 28: THA CHAISE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara and Math and Math an Lucinas dad chas Gurl Roban and Lucina.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Icant beleve its ben a hole weak sins hoamcumen. Adn I finelly gotted sum piktars off Lauren and Kaetis hoamcumen. I wont say hao I didit butt it envolved maken a faek fasebok accont with a fak naem adn a fak pictar and aksing Kayti if she wantad 2 be frends and she aksepted and than I gotted al the pictars frum her fasebok. And not onely is her noes as big as I thot it wuz butt she has three sitars that al lok a lot liek she dose and her mom aslo has a big noes 2. lol her dad marreyd a big noes women and had 4 big noes dotters. And on off tham is a lesban. He muts hat his lief. Undar Kaytis relijon on fasebok it sez sumthin caled "Helix Fossil" is that sum tipe off Jewash liek hao my famely is Baptest witches a tipe off Christen? Most impotently tho I got lotsa pictars off Lauren witch I savde on my commuter.

CHAP 28: TEH CHSAE

I haned on titely 2 sumthin in the bad off the pikup truk as Mark and Lucinas dad slamed on the accelgor and the truk startad goen reely fats aftar the car. Tha car drived bak 2 the rod and we folowed it.  
"Hao did u no exatly were id be in the midol off the dessert?" I sed.  
"Gud Clon Sara tolled us" sed March.  
"Ok" I sed. Than sudanly Lucina loked ot the pasanger widow off the car and she wuz holden a gun. She startad shitten atus!  
"Hold on titely everon!" sed Marp and Lucinas dad and he startad swervin the truk arond 2 dog the ballets. Than Mart gotted ot a gun with the cur init and shat at Lucina. On off the ballets hither and turd her strate agen butthan Gurl Roban jus rapped her and mad her a lesban agen.  
"I wuz afred that wold hapan" sed Matt and Lucinas dad "we hav 2 cur tham boht at the sam tim or eels the on thats stil a lesban wil rap the otter on."  
"Ok dad" sed Matrh. So the chas continu. They drived in2 an amoosement park and Grul Roban drived there car on2 a ruler coster so Mark and Lucinas dad folowed. I had 2 hane on reely titely as the truk went don the rales and evan went upsid don. Than Lucina startad shitten us agen and the truk coldant dog becuz than it wold go of the rales and wed all dye. So everone had 2 duke insted. We gotted of the rolar coster and than we chaised tham as they drived thro a confession stan sumwere eels in the amoongus park and coten candi wuz al ovar r winsheld.  
"Ono!" sed Mart and Lucinas dad "Nao icant se!!!"  
I new I had 2 halp.  
"Turd left!" I sed. And Mart and Lucinas dad did that.  
"Nao turd left agen!" I sed. And he did that and manag 2 dog sumthin that wuz in the wey  
"Nao jus kep goen strate!" I sed as we chaised Gurl Roban and Lucinas car don the mane walkwey off the amoosement park.  
"Nao turd right!" I sed. And we folowed Gurl Roban and Lucina ot off the amosement park and Mark adn Lucinas dad finely gotted the coaten candi of off the windsheld.  
"Gud thinken Sara!" he sed.  
"Tanks!" I sed. And the chase continud.  
"This chais fells liek it wil nevar and!" I sed.  
"Ino wut 2 do!" sed Matt. And he shat the tiers of Gurl Roban and Lucinas car the otter car and it stapped. Than Mark and Lucinas dad parked his car and gotted ot. Gurl Roban and Lucina noed they wer defeet.  
"Ono my luv!" sed Gurl Roban.  
"Hao abot on mor kis b4 wer farced 2 be strait agen!" sed Lucina. And so they startad kisen each otter. I thot it wuz discussing and wuz not turd on byit atall becuz im not a lesban. Butthan Mart and Lucinas dad puled tham apart and interjected eech off tham with the cur.  
"Yay! Were strate agen!" they sed.  
"Hey Gurl Roban wanna dat agen nao that ur strate agen" sed March.  
"Ok" sed Gurl Roban.  
"And I thenk Ill dat Gyu Roban agen 2" sed Lucina.  
"Yay Lucina nao that ur strate ican luv u agen!" sed Mart and Lucinas dad.  
"Tanks dad!" sed Lucina.  
So Lucina and Gurl Roban gotted in the bak off the pikup truk withme and we driv bak 2 tha manshan. Wen we gotted their I aksed Mastar Hen if Me and Lucina cold shar a rom agen nao that shes strate.  
"No" sed Mister Hanes "and I thank Lucinas stil a lesban becuz u cant cur homasexalty. So she neds 2 be seprat frum u so ull stap forcen her 2 pritend 2 be strate. And aslo dont u shar a rom with ur clon?"  
"If I ned 2 leev so that Reel Sara can hav a rome with Lucina than ill leev" sed Gud Clon Sara.  
"Grate! I hat haven evan on Sara hear let alon 2 Saras so bye" Mustard Hans sed. And Gud Clon Sara leeved.  
"Dose this men Ican shar a rome with Lucina agen?" I sed.  
"No" sed Mastur Hen "Iv akshully gotted a newcumer hear a few minuets b4 u cam bak and she neds a romate. She sed she wantad 2 hav a rom with u moar then aneyon."  
"Hoo isit?" I sed. I hopped it wuz a pritty strate Christen gurl.  
"Helo Sara" I herd. I turd arond and was insanely scarred.  
"Im looken forwerd 2 sharen a rome with u hear agen. MWAHAHA!" it wuz Lauren! Ono!


	29. CHAP 29: LAUREN IS EVUL

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara muts fine a wey 2 stap Lauren frum rappen her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wen I gotted on fasebok rite aftar chirch 2day I fond a massage frum Kayti on the fak fasbok acont I mad. I desidad 2 copay and passed the hole thin hear so ucan c hao meen she is:
> 
> Hello, you dumb bitch. Lauren said that calling out your bullshit wasn't worth it, but you went too far. I guess I should start by thanking you. From now on, when I get a friend request from someone I think I know, I'm going to wait until I go to school again and ask if it was really them, even if it's someone I never actually talk to like Nicole Lambert (but, seriously, you must have had a lot of time on your hands since you actually bothered to find my school's website and stole the name and picture of someone I go to school with), instead of just assuming that they must of needed to make a new Facebook account for some reason. But let's get to the point, you are a terrible piece of scum. You can make fun of me all you want, but leave Lauren and my family alone. Delete all those pictures you have of Lauren and move on, because she's not going back to you. I mean, I'll admit that I'm not perfect and my nose is basically Ridley (if you actually bothered to know anything about Super Smash Bros. you'd get that joke), but when my "competition" is an insane lunatic I think I don't have to be worried. Lauren and I are in love, Sara, and if you don't like that you can go fuck yourself. And also, do you know how old my two younger sisters you made fun of are? They're ten. What kind of person makes fun of two ten-year-old girls who did nothing to them? Not anyone who has the right to call themselves a good person, that's for sure.
> 
> P.S.: What you did was against a bunch of different rules on Facebook. You can kiss your main Facebook account goodbye, not that you have any real friends anyway.
> 
>  
> 
> C wut Kaeti rot shes so meen 2 me!!! This provs lesbans r evul!

CHAP 29: LAUREN IZ EVUL!

The instant I sawed it wuz Lauren I gotted ot the cur and tred 2 shit it at her.  
"STOP TRYEN 2 CUR HOMASEXALTY ITS IMPASSIBLE AND UR JUS BEAN INTOLERATE!!!" sed Mastor Hen. Butt I didant lissan I shat the cur owt off the trankwelizar gun butt the nedol jus bonced of a forsfeld!!!  
"Ono!" I sed.  
"C wut I meen nao everbuddy leev my orifice I hav impotent stuf 2 do" sed Mustar Hanes. So we leeved.  
"Hao did u blok the cur?" I sed to Lauren wen we leeved the oface.  
"Ha! Wen Satin mad me the Kween off Lesbans he gived me a forsfeld that blokes the cur 2 homasexalty! Theirs noting u or aney1 eels can do 2 maek me strate!" Lauren sed "and aslo wenevar I rap a gurl from nao on Ill giv her a fors feld 2 so shell be a lesban 4evar."  
"Ono!" I sed "ples stop bean an evul lesban Lauren we usde 2 be frends!"  
"I wuz nevar reely ur frend!" sed Lauren "maken u a lesban wuz the gaul off my antire lief! And sun I will secede!"  
"No u wont!" I sed "Im strait!"  
"I will chang taht!" than Lauren leeved laffen evully.  
"Wut r we goen 2 do?" sed Lucina "I jus turd strate agen and Im afred Lauren mite make me a lesban agen and giv me a forsfeld so that the cur wont werk."  
"We ned 2 go sumwer wear no lesban wankar wil evar go" sed Sholk. I sudanly noed wer we had 2 go.  
"Lucina and Sholk get all the Christens" I sed "were goen 2 chikfela!"  
"Ok" sed Lucina and Sholk. So we gotted alof the Christens togetter at chikfela becuz we noed wed be saf frum Lauren ther.  
"We ned 2 maek the nedol that has the cur init strongar so taht itcan get throo the forsfelds!" sed Goy Roban.  
"Butt the forsfeld wuz mad bye Satin himsalf" sed Plotina "onely the powar off God is strongar and God is captar!"  
"So teh onely way 2 win is if we dont get rap" I sed "its jus liek not haven a cur atall!"  
"Jus remamber that bean a lesban is reely scarry Sara" sed Lucina "u no hao u alweys want 2 kis and hav sax with otter gurls butt u dont becuz ur strate? Well bean a lesban is abot not haven self contral so u jus hav sax with hoevar u want evan if its evul."  
Taht did sond vary scurry. I noed I had 2 prevant that frum evar hapanen 2 me.  
"So wut shold we do?" sed Maryo.  
"Hao abot u jus let me rap Sara?" It wuz Lauren.  
"Hay! No lesbans r aloed in hear!" sed the manojer of chikfela.  
"Butt Mastur Hanes sez thats diskrimanaton and he mad it illegol 4 a buznas 2 not let homasexals insid becuz he hats the free meerkat and wants 2 ruan it with regalations liek that" sed Lauren "so if u try 2 kik me owt ill go2 the polite and thell arest u and shit don ur buznas."  
So their wuz noting the manojer cold do.  
"Im sorey Sara" he sed  
"Wel wer stil not gona let u rap Sara u bluddy wankar!" sed Sholk.  
"Hao wilu stap me?" sed Lauren "I hav evul lesban powar frum Satin! And Sara stil dosent hav her God powars agen!"  
Than she leeved laffen evully.  
"Dont worey Sara" sed Fyora "ucan stay at me and Bowsars hose its rite don the stret frum the bluddy manshan and if Lauren trys 2 cum insid well stan r grond liek Jorge Zimarman and shit her with guns."  
"Grate idea!" I sed. So nao I didant hav 2 shar a rome with Lauren. I wuz so hapey.


	30. CHAP 30: LAURENS KEE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara tres 2 get Laurens kee 2 Hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So libruls kep saiyan bad thins abot my storey. Butt im gona be liek Tailer Swoft and Shaq It Of becuz hatters r gona hat no matar wut I do becuz there libruls. And aslo liek I sed a bilyan tims im not a lesban! I nevar had sax with anotter gurl and I nevar kised a gurl wile we wer nakad. And evan if I did kis a gurl b4 tahts hao pepole say hi 2 each otter in sum contrys liek Frans (teh librul indoktrenashun off the skool sistem mad it so I hav 2 taek a foren langag and my opshuns wer Fronch or Spanash and I didant want 2 lern ilegol imegrant langag so Im taken Fernch clas) so its stil not a lesban thin.
> 
> Sorey 4 the lat updat my mom wantad 2 go shapen with me and she pade 4 sum coot new cloths that I hav nao (c Im not a lesban I liek shapen 4 cloths that normel gurls were)

CHAP 30: LAURENS KEE

Tat nite I stayed at teh gest rome off Bowsar and Fionas hose. I wuz scar that sumhow Lauren wold brake in and rap me butt I noed that ther wuz a sekuraty sistem 2 protract me. I wuzant abel 2 fal aslep taht nite tho and the naxt day I had 2 fite a mach. Me and Lucina had 2 fit Lauren and Gandalf. I wuz reely tiard tho.  
"Sara we ned 2 win thes!" sed Lucina.  
"Im gona rap u boat!" sed Lauren and she runed atus.  
"Ono!" I sed. Butt I wuz 2 tiard 2 mov.  
"Sara wach ot!" sed Lucina. She runed ovar tords me butt Ganandurf bloked her.  
"U cant stap Lauren!" sed Ganendarf. I thot 4 shur id be rap all I cold do wuz prey butt it wuz uslas becuz God wuz captar. Sudanly a basbol bat apered in frant off me tho and I us it 2 send Lauren flyan of the stag. Me and Lucina anded up winen the mach.  
"Yay!" sed Lucina "we didit."  
Butthan Lucina faled on the grond and wuz in pane.  
"Ono wats hapen!" I sed.  
"Lucina dont u mis bean a lesban?" It wuz Lauren. She wuz usen her evul lesban wichkraft "dont u wana halp me rap Sara?"  
"No Im strate!" sed Lucina.  
"Butt u wer hapyar as a lesban wernt u?" sed Lauren "and dont u wana maek Sara a lesban 2 so she can be hapey?"  
"Dont lissan 2 her Lucina bean a lesban is ron!" I sed.  
"Ino!" sed Lucina.  
"Butt my evul majak is reely powarfel!" sed Lauren.  
"Stap it rite nao!" I sed.  
"Wut r u gona do abot it? U dont hav aney powars!" sed Lauren.  
"Sara! I hav sumthin in my pokat!" sed Lucina "butt Im 2 week frum the majak atak tryen 2 tune me bak in2 a lesban."  
"Ok" I sed. I puled ot the thin frum Lucinas pokat aned it wuz a cros!  
"Ono!" sed Lauren. I holded up the cros at Lauren and she stated 2 his and bak awey. I wuz gald that this stil werked despit God and Jesas bean captar.  
"U r powarles agents the powar of God Lauren" I sed "and nao Ill us thes cros 2 kil u ons and feral if u dont giv me the kee 2 Hell that u hav!"  
"Ha! Did u reely thank Id be dum enuf 2 breen it with me wen I cum 2 Manshan wen I noed u wer loken 4 the kees?" sed Lauren "Im 2 smart 4 that. And I wont tel u who I gived the kee 2 ether."  
Than she runed awey laffin evully. Ons Lauren was gong Lucina wuz abel 2 stan up agen.  
"So Lauren dosant hav a kee rite nao" sed Lucina "that mens we dont no aneone who has 1 expect 4 Mastar Han and it wold be stooped 2 brake in2 his orifice rite nao 2 taek it becuz hell prolly kikus ot off the Manshan if we did taht and we ned 2 bee hear becuz its wear we can reserch were the kees r."  
"We no sumon eels who has a kee" I sed.  
"Hoo?" aksed Lucina.  
"Cum with me. We ned 2 fine sum moar pepole" I sed "were braken in the wite hose 2 get a kee frum Bark Oboma."


	31. CHAP 31: ATAKEN THE WITE HOSE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara leeds the Christen Smashars on an atak on the wite hose 2 defeet Barak Oboma and get his kee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! Im surpriz that tis storey has almos 4 thosand hit plus my furst storey has moar then 12 thosand and my atak on titen storey has ovar a thosand. If u combin al off thos u get a lot. I no alota thos r libruls who cum hear 2 say bad thins 2 try 2 diskredat me butt ino thers a silant majoraty that suparts me and iz lernin sumthin frum my storey and thell go and ejaculate otters abot the trooth off my werds. God Bass Amureka!

CHAP 31: ATOKEN THE WITE HOES

Me and Lucina gotted al the Christen Smashars togetter and we had 2 get in2 the wite hose.  
"We shold try snekin in agen liek last tim" sed Lonk.  
"No!" I sed "I no taht Barok Ovama wil except tat and hell be prepair!"  
"Than we ned an otter idea" sed Sholk.  
"Ino!" sed Mark "wy dont we atak the wite hos diractly!"  
"Do we hav enuf pepole?" I aksed.  
"Ya we hav U and Me and Lucina and Sholk and Goy Roban and Gurl Roban and Palootena and Pete and Lenk and Icke and Maro and Loogey and Pech and Elsa and Doktar Marik and Fyora and Bowsar and Bowzor Janitor and Roosterina and Dork Haunt and Nas and Sonek and Kerby and Keg Daddy and Yogi and Shrek (who isa difrant persan frum Zilda nao) and Litel Mick and Tone Loc and Gud Clon Sara and Rine and Shirley and Milkia and Dungben and Ricky (hes anotter persan from Xenablad whose sum kinda anemal persan)" sed Matt "that shud be enuf."  
"Rite" I sed.  
"I wana cum 2" I herd. I turd arond and it wuz Emily.  
"Emily! Butt ur a senyor and im jus a frenchman!" I sed.  
"Taht duzant matar ur relly pritty and I wana be ur fern" sed Emily.  
"Yay! Ur rilly pritty 2" I sed. Than we huged each otter butt not in a lesban whey.  
So weal went 2 the wite hose 2 atakit. Otsid the wite hose we sawed a buncah guyz with towls on ther heds. They wer Muzlum Terarests!!! Obaba mustve wented 2 his mosk and gotted tham 2 halp him gard the Wite Hose frum Christens.  
"Wer gona kill u infodels! Praze Alan and Moehoward and Barak Oboma!" sed the Mizlams wen they sawed us.  
Sum Muzlums runed ovar and blowed themselfs becuz they wer sooside bommers butt we dogged the expositions.   
"Deth 2 Amerkia!" sed sum otter Mossloms and they gotted ot guns and startad shutten us. I shat tham bak with my guns. March and Lucina and Sholk and the Robans and Lonk and Ick and Tun Lick and Ren and Donbun all hitted tha Mooseloms with sords. Plutonium and Pet used there angle powars to kil a buncha Mudlems and Maryo and Lugia jamped on there heds. Petch throwed her turdnaps and used the atak wer she hits pepole with her butte and maeks harts aper. Zetta usde majak ataks and Dollar Maryo gived the Mezloms pils that wer supose 2 by tilenol butt we relly sianide pils that poysaned and kiled them. Fyora usde nifes and Boozer breethed friars and and Bowsar Junor hited tham with the thin he rids arond in. Roselia made the star thin wit her atak the Muzloms and tha Duke Hint Doug bited the Mislams and gived tham rabbis wile the duk peeked the Muzlums eys ot with ist dick bek. Nas usde his majak and basbol batt wile Sonek runed so fats that he tuned in2 uwe boll and slamed in2 the Museums. Kerby and Ken Deedee usde there humors on the Molsams and Yosi ated tham and tuned them into oggs. Shaq usde ninga powars and throwed nedals and Lital Mike pinched tham with his boxen skils. Sharon shat tham wither gun and Meala usde her majak and Rikey usde his werid wepan thin. Gud Clon Sara usde her evul powars 4 gud 2 kil Moslums. Adn Emily stud ther and loked rilly pritty wich wuz halpful becuz Muzlum womans alweys wer ridikolos costums that covar ther antire bodeys so no Muzlum man has evar seen wut a women loks liek b4 so tehy wer distract bye hao pritty Emily wuz and taht maed them easer 2 kil. Wen al the Mozlems wer kil we wented in2 the wite hose were Barak Obana wuz watten.  
"So u beeted my Muzlom terarest gards butt u cant beet me!" he sed. Than he usde his evul seth powars 2 sand everone expect me flyen ot off the wite hose and lacked the dors. It wuz onely me versas him... or so I thot. Sudanly sumon eels came. It wuz Osoma Benladon who wuz the leeder off Muzloms (liek hao the Poop is the leder of Cathlicks).  
"Butt ur supose 2 bee ded!" I sed.  
"Ha! Sins Ima Muzlom did u reely thenk Id let the ledar off my relijun dye?" sed Borat Obaka. Nao I had 2 fite boht Obaba and Ozama bye miself! Withot aney powars! Hao wold I win?!


	32. CHAP 32: OZMA AND OBOBA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara fites tha 2 bigast Muzlum terarasts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writen this chaptart maeks me vary sad an angri becuz its chaptar numner 32 witches the chaptar off the furst storey that I let Lauren rite 4 her burthday bak wen she wuz pritenden 2 bee my frend. It maeks me sad becuz I usd 2 thank she reely wuz my frend and I mis al the gud tims we had. Butt Im aslo agni ather becuz she wuz lyan and betray and trik me bye bein a lesban. I stil wish she wuz reely strate and if they invant the cur 4 homasexalty in reel lief Id injact Lauren withit so we cold be frends agen.

CHAP 32: OSOMA AN OGAMA

So I wuz stuk fitten tha 2 most impotent Muzloms evar Barik Akuma and Osma Banlodan. I node it wold be vary had withot my powars frum God that I had the last tim I fot Derek Amoeba.  
"Ull nevar beetus!" sed Ivanna.  
"Ya we hav Satin on r sid and u hav NOONE!!!" Odsma.  
"I hav the secant amandment!" I sed. I gotted ot a gun and tred 2 shat tham butt Omaha takei my gunz awey becuz hes a librul.  
"Ono!" I sed.  
"MWAHAHA!!!" sed Okami and Oslama. I had 2 thank off sumthin eels. I runed at tham and tried 2 karaty chap tham in haf butt it didant werk.  
"Yule hav 2do beeter than that!" sed Osbama.  
"Ya! R evul powars r 2 muk 4 u!" sed Obsama.  
As munch as I woshed it wuzant troo I noed they wer rite. I wuz usles aganst tham. Butthan I remambered that if I startad thenkin liek tat than the libruls wold win.  
"I NED 2 BELEEV IN MISELF!!!" I sed. Than I runed at tham and karat chaped tham agen.  
"Ow!" sed Oblabla  
"That hurs!" sed Ofauna. Beeleven in misalf werked! Butt wold it be enuf?  
Sudanly a walked ot frum the shados off the rom and Ozomba runed ovar 2 it and startad haven gay sax withit becuz hes frum the midol eest and tats wut they do ovar ther. Butt the camols guy part wuz 2 big and it tared a hol in Oxamas butte and he blood 2 deth. Nao I onely had 2 fite Brock Obadiah. Butthan he puled ot his red lifesaver.  
"Ha! Ill stil defeet u and than Ill maek a law so that Christenity will be ilegol and onely Muzloms and Athists will be aloed in Amuraka!" sed Odoma.  
"Butt tats agents tha Constipation witch sez Amorkia is a CHRISTEN NASHUN!!!" I sed.  
"I dont car abot the Constantine!" sed Barak Olama.  
"Butt wedo!" Sudanly all the Republekens came. They wer hidan in the shadoos the hole tim.  
"Ur impeech!" sed specker of the hoes Jin Boner.  
"Ono!" sed Ojama. Than he wuz throed in prisan.  
"Sara wev ben taken and we thank u shold be presadent nao" sed Boner.  
"Yay!" I sed. I coldant wate 2 go in2 the ovary orifice! Aslo I cold esaly fine the kee! So I waked in2 the ovel oface butt sumon eels wuz siten in the presadent chare. It wuz Lauren!  
"Go awey Lauren im presadent nao!" I sed.  
"Ha!" sed Lauren "I wuz alredy the kween of lesbans butthan I wuz mad the leder off the antire gay ajenda! Than I concurred Amerkia. So Im presadent nao and ull nevar fine the kee that Ohama had"  
"Ono!" I sed. I noed I had 2 defeet Lauren 2 get Ovamas kee butt that wold be hared and aslo the gay ajenda finely concurred Amureka so I noed Lauren wold maek bad thins hapan as presadent.


	33. CHAP 33: SARA VERSAS LAUREN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara fites Lauren and sum otter stuf hapans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2moro is the day wen tha noo Smash Brots gam cums ot. I wantad 2 go2 the mednite relees butt my mom tolled me I coldant becuz its a skool nite. Shes so meen 2 me! Nao I hav 2 wate untel aftar skool 2moro 2 get tha gaem and playit. Wy wont my mothra let me stay hoam frum skool 2moro its not liek skool is impotent aneway most off wut they teech is just librul lyes.

CHAP 33: SARA VERTEX LAUREN

"Im gona get ur kee and Obabas kee Lauren!" I sed "Im the reel presadent nao ur jus a yoosurpar (thats a werd I lernd frum Gaem off Throns)"  
"Butt Im the 1 in tha presadent chare" sed Lauren "so I hav all the presadent powars. Lookat this!"  
The ponted 2 sum dails on the dask. On off tham sed "tax on job craters" and than Lauren turd that on 2 the maximom settin!  
"Nao all the hard-werkin job craters in the contry will be tax evan moor than they wer undar Oboma and they hav 2 giv al there munny 2 pore pepole!" sed Lauren.  
"Ono!" I sed.  
Than there wuz anotter dyal that sed "gay ajenda" and turd it 2 the heist settin.  
"And nao theres a law that sez everon mutts be homasexal or go2 prisan!" sed Lauren.  
"Ono!" I sed.  
And than Lauren turd anotter diul that sed "comanism" 2 the hyist settin. Sudanly the stares on the Amerkan falgs in the rome turd in2 the hummer and sikol off the Sobriet Onion!  
"Ono!" I sed. Butt I sudanly had a Rushan aksent so I sed "Ono!" agen.  
"Ha! Ha! U cant beet me Sara!" sed Lauren. She had a Rushan aksent nao 2 it maed her sond evuller butt aslo kinda pritter butt im not a lesban. Than Lauren turd anotter dyal caled "sekoolarism."  
"Ono!" I sed.  
"Nao Christenity is illegol!" sed Lauren. I noed I had 2 stap her.  
"I wil defeet u Lauren!" I sed. It wuz stil werd heron miself talk nao that I had a Rushan aksent.  
"Hao wil u stap me?" she sed "Im the Kween off Lesbans and nao im aslo the Presadent!"  
Sudanly the widow off the ovary oface braked and Sholk and Lucina jamped in.  
"Well defeet u!" sed Sholk. He stil had his Britash aksent so I gess the dyals onely did stuf 2 Amurkans.  
"Givit up Lauren!" Lucina sed. She stil sonded liek a normel persan 2.  
"Wy shold I lissan 2 u?" aksed Lauren.  
"Becuz we hav sords!" sed Lucina.  
Than Lucina and Sholk ataked Lauren with ther sords butt she dogged tham.  
"Lucina untel jus recantly u wer a lesban" Lauren sed "dont u misit? Espeshully sins I got this noo pritty aksent. U wer hapyer wen u wer a lesban!"  
"Hapynas dosant matar if ur bean evul!" sed Lucina.  
"Well im jus gona rap u and Sara agen aneway!" sed Lauren. Butt wile she wuz distract bye Sholk and Lucina I sneeked behide her and hit her in the hed with sumthin big and hevy that I fond 2 nok her unconshus. Than I walkad ovar 2 the dyals. I turd the tax on job craters 2 ziro so pepole wernt punash 4 bean suksesful and insted the pore pepole wold hav insentiv 2 werk hard becuz wefare and stuf wuz gon. Than I turd of the gay ajenda so homasexalty wuz illegol. Than I turd of comanism so we wer a gud contry agen and aslo we didant hav Rushan aksents anemore. And I turd of the sekolarism so Christenity wuz the ofishal relijun off the antire contry and all otter relijuns wer illegol.  
"Nao lets go fine Obomas kee!" I sed.


	34. CHAP 34: GETIN MOAR KEES

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara gets sum moar kees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soray I didant updat yestarday the noo gaem wuz hear and I plaid it alot ons I gotted hom frum skool and wen I didant stop until it wuz liek 10 at nite and I had 2 go2 bid. Its starten 2 get annoy becuz I plad clasac mod and fot Flacco wen I wuz dun and lose and nao every tim I fite a singol mach it wans me 2 fite Falcor agen butt hes 2 hared 2 beet! Maybee I ned 2 pay Becky 2 get all the karectors 4 me becuz the fites to get them r 2 hard. In the las gaem they had the Subspas Emasculary witch Lauren beeted 4 me 2 get al the karectors butt nao were not frends anemore so I ned 2 pay sumon. Wy did they mak thes fites so hared?

CHAP 34: GETAN MOOR KEESE

Aftar Lauren wuz defeet Me and Lucina and Sholk loked arond the wite hose 4 wear Obabas kee wuz. We noed it had 2 be in a secrete rome becuz it wuz tap sekrit. We serched the hole wite hose untel we wer in the librery.  
"Maybee if we redf on off these boks it wil tellus were the sekrat romes r" I sed. So I puled ot on off the boks butt it didant cum insted the bokcas opaned 2 revel a secrete dore. I opaned it and it leded 2 a starecas.  
"Cum on" I sed. Lucina and Sholk folowed me don the starcas and it leeded 2 the rom wer the kep all the nooks. But in tha bak wuz the kee! I garbed it.  
"Ok lets go interagat Lauren untel she tels us were her kee is" sed Lucina.  
"Not yet. I sed. I hav sum thins I muts do nao that I fond the nooks" I sed. I wented up 2 the nooks and shat liek a milyan off tham at the midol eest 2 kil al the terarests. I dont no wy no presadent in reel lief did this I meen I no Obabas a Muzlam so hes on the terarests sid butt Jorge W. Bosh wuz a muk betar presadent and evan he didant jus nook the terarests. Its so simpol and eesy! Than I went 2 sum otter nooks and aem tham at Pensolvanea becuz thats wer Kati livs.  
"Sara ples dont!" It wuz Lauren.  
"U cant stap me!" I sed.  
"If u fiar thos nooks at Kayti ull nevar get my kee!" she sed.  
"Ill jus interagat u untel u tell me. Ull givin eventully" I sed.  
"No becuz I gived the kee 2 Kayti 2 kep it saef" Lauren sed "if u kil her with nooks than the kee wil be distroy 2."  
"Ur blufan!" I sed.  
"No Im not. I luv her becuz were both evul lesbans" sed Lauren "Ill cal her and teller that u can hav the kee if u dont fiar thos nooks!"  
"Fien!" I sed "Cum on Lucina and Sholk! Were gona get the otter Christen Smashars and taek Arr Fors On 2 Penisvagina!"  
So we leeved and goted the otter Snashars and wented on the presadents plan Are Fork Oen. I gotted in the drivar seet becuz I bot Stair Fux 65 4 my 3SD wen it wuz on sael a wek ago an plaid it abit so nao I no hao 2 driv a plain. So I drived the plain 2 Pencilvanya and park it in Kaytis drivway.  
"Lauren tolled me 2 giv u the kee evan tho ur gud and were evul" Kaytee sed. She gived me Laurens kee.  
"Tanks" I sed.  
"Butt ur gona givit bak becuz IM GONA RAP U!!!" Kairi sed. Butthan Lucina noked her unconshus and I caled the polite 2 arest Kaytee and Lauren becuz I mad homasexalty ilegol in tha last chaptar so they wer boht braken the law bye bean lesbans. Than Me and the otter Smashars gotted bakin Arr Farce Oen and filed bak 2 the Smash Manshan.  
"So thisis wut the kees loki liek" Lucina sed "Nao that Im sean tham up clos they lok so familar."  
"Ino!" Sholk sed "Capten Falkan hada kee jus liek this on his keechan wen we stoled his car!"  
So wen we gotted bak 2 the Manshan we beated up Capten Futon and taked his kee. So we had the tree we jus got an the on Boozer gived us wen he turd gud so that ment we had for off the sevan kees. And Muster Hen had Gandalfs kee so ther wer onley 2 we didant no abot. We wented bak 2 r reserch becuz we wer getin so clos!


	35. CHAP 35: THA NAXT KEE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara fines ot abot wer the nixt kee is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So im stil haven treble unloken any karectors becuz u hav 2 defete tham witches dum. Butt I fond sum otter chalunges that I did so I hav sum stufs lik trofys an stuf. On Moonday Ill fine sumon 2 unlak the caractars 4 me and than ill hav everon in tha gaem. Aslo my dad leeved 4 his buznas trep rite aftar chirch and well be gon 4 the hole weak. That meens my mom wil ether wan me 2 leev and do stuf otsid the hose sum tims aftar skool or shell wana do stuf withme. Ether way my chaptars mite me lat sum off thes days.

CHAP 35: TEH NUXT KEE

Aftar getin the kees frum Obaka and Lauren and Capten Futon plus the on Boozer gived us we had 4 kees. And Mister Hanes had anotter on so ther wer 2 kees we didant no abot. We wer in the librery redin abot tha kees butt the boks wer oled and didant say hoo had tham nao. So the boks wer uslas! Ther had 2 be a lissed sumwer butt I didant no were 2 fin it! Sudanly I goted a cal on my fone. It wuz the polise!  
"Hi Presadent Sara" sed the polite chef "wen we arestad Lauren we fonded a not that she got. She tred 2 hidit butt it didant werk. Do u want us to red it 2 u?"  
"Ok" I sed.  
"It sez that its frum Satin and that he gived Derp Pit the sexth kee. I hop tats usful infarmaton 4 u" sed the ploise chef.  
"Yes tats vary impotent tanks" I sed.  
"Ok" sed the polis chef. I hanged up the fone.  
"Wut wuz taht?" sed Lucina.  
"Ino wer the naxt kee is nao. Drak Pete hasit" I sed.  
"Ono! We hav 2 fite my bruther!" sed Pet.  
"No Pat u shold stay hear becuz hes gay nao and if he raps any goys thell turd gay 2. So onely grills shold fite him" sed Plootina.  
"Grate idea!" I sed.  
"Ok so Ill halp" sed Lucina.  
"Ill halp 2" sed Pollutena.  
"Ok" I sed. So tha tree ofus went 2 fine Dork Pot. We breened the cur 4 homasexalty evan tho he prolly had a forsfeld liek Lauren did. We wented 2 the theator rome off the Manshan becuz thats wer a gay guy wold be. They wer doen a drass rehursal 4 tha Wizord off Uzi and Dirk Pat wuz playen Dorthee.  
"Sumwer ovar the ranebow (Ican see wy the gays luv this muzikal so muk)" sined Darn Pet he wuz werin a dres.  
"Givus the kee Darp Pete!" I sed.  
"Nevar!" he sed. Sudanly Picachoo runed up dres as Todo and Capten Falken runed up dres as tha Skarekro and Megan Man runed up dres as the Ten Man and Lukaro runed up dres as the Lyon. We wold hav 2 fite allof tham.  
"Ono! Wer otnumbar!" I sed.  
"Ya and r cloths r much moar in stile than yors" sed Dart Put.  
"No tehy arnt!" I sed. Me and Lucina and Palotena wer al werin the latast fashuns frum desiner brads becuz wer al strate gurls.  
"Ha! Trus me gurlfrend ur cloths r a fashun dont!" sed Dark Pig  
"Lyar!" I runed at him butt than Pikachoo shat lighting at me and it hert.  
"Ow!" I sed. I faled don.  
"Sara r u ok?" aksed Lucina. She halped me 2 my feat.  
"Ya tanks Lucina" I sed.  
We noed that fiten fiv pepole wold be hared sins ther wuz only three offus. I runed ovar 2 Picachoo and garbed him bye the tale and startad slamen him in2 the grond ovar and ovar until he wuz unconshus. Than Plotena shat sum angle beems at Capten Felkan 2 district him wile Lucina noked him ot 2. Nao it wuz evan.  
"Ok Sara ucan fite Mage Man and Lucina ucan fite Lukaro. Ill fite Drab Pit becuz I usde 2be his bos" sed Pillowtena.  
So I runed ovar 2 fite Mogul Man. He shat lazors atme butt I doged tham and gotted ot a shitgun and shat him a buncha tims. Than I runed up 2 him and startad punchen him in the fase but he shat sum sawblads atme.  
"Ow!" I sed. Than he mad sum leevs aper arond him and shat thos atme. Thos hirt 2. I new I neded a plain if I wantad 2 win the fite. So I piked up partof a fens that wuz a prap 4 the seen off the muzikal and throed it. It wuz carbord so it didant hert Macro Man butt it did distract him so I cold runup 2 him agen and nok him unconshus. And Lucina and Polatena winned ther fits 2 and we taked Drak Pets kee and injacted him with tha cur.  
"Yay Im strate agen!" he sed "and jus in tim 4 the feetbal gaem!"  
He runed ovar 2 wach the gam with sum otter guyz. Nao we onely neded 2 moar kees we noed Mustard Hans had 1 off tham butt were wuz the otter?


	36. CHAP 36: THE OTTER KEE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara an frends fiend ot wer the otter kee thye dont no abot iz.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everon! My storey is nao ofishally longar tham me furst on. So asa speshal teat 2 yall I desided 2 uplod sum RQ cods 4 sumof the Mees I mad. Heres an ablom: http://imgur.com/a/69sMZ . This haz the Mes I mad off Me an Emily and Chloe and Lauren. I hop u pepole liek tham. I liek 2 maek batols in Smash Bras wer I teemup with Emilys Nii and Chloes Moo and beetup Lauren becuz shes so meen 2 me.
> 
> I hop u liek teh Miz!

CHAP 36: TEH OTTER KEE

It wuz a few dyas latur and we stil didant no wer the otter kee wuz. We loked arond 4 cloos butt coldant fine aney.  
"Were cold it bee?" I sed. Sudanly Emily came frum the bak off the librery. She wuz holdan a noospapar.  
"Lok wut I fond!" she sed. I red tha litol off the noospapur it wuz cal the Hell Tims.  
"This muts be the noospapor off Hell!" I sed. I noed that a noospapor off Hell muts hav evan moor librul byas then a normel lamestrem (lol im funey) medea noospapur becuz Hell is wer all the librul jurnalests go wen they dye. Butt I desided 2 raditz aneyway.  
"Lored Satin hids the lats kee" wuz wut the hedlin sed. Than the storey sed "Aftar tha gud consirvatevs gotted the kee frum Derp Kit Lored Satin noed that it wuz onely a matar off tim b4 they goted the kee that Mastar Hen taked form Ganendirf and alos fond the otter kee. Fortanetly 4 us evul pepole Staten isant goen 2 givup taht essay so he taked tha lats kee and hided it dep withen subspas evan farter than the tv scren rome and than he gotted sum off the moast powarfel evul pepole he had 2 gardit and aslo he mad shur tat ther wuz lotsa demans and stuf in subspas 2 mak it reely hared 2 evan get 2 tha reely powarfel gards. Lored Stan is shur tat Sara wil nevar get tha kee nao. Hale Santa!"  
"Ono!" I sed.  
"Wut isit?" sed Lucina.  
"Tha lats kee isin subspas!" I sed.  
"Butt lats tim we wer in subspas I wuz rap in2 a lesban!" sed Lucina "Ino Lauren and Kaeti r in prisan nao butt thers prolly otter lesbans in subspas reddy 2 rapus."  
"Ino it wil be reely dangeros 2 get this kee" I sed "so well ned 2 breen everbuddy."  
"Ill cum 2" sudanly Dart Pot came. He wuz gud nao becuz he wuz strate agen.  
"Grate!" Ised. So we gotted everone togetter and planed r asalt on subspas 2 get the kee. We didant no wut evul pepole wated ther jus tat they wer vary powarfel. Sorey abot tha shrot chaptar I wan 2 play moar off the gaem nao. Naxt tim well go2 subspas.


	37. CHAP 37: INVASHUN OFF SUBSPAS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara an frens go2 subspas 2 get tha kee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2day wuz a vary scare day. My mom shoed up 2 pik meup frum skool butt she wuz in a uhal truk filed with my stuf adn she sed wer boht goen awey nao. She sed shes ben sean tharopy 4 ovar a yeer and nao shes leevin my dad and taken me 2 liv in an otter part off the contry. Im riten this frum a hotal my mom sed is sumwere in Tenasy. She aslo sed she thonks ima lesban becuz she sawed me kisen Lauren and tahts wy she wented 2 theropy in the firts plase and she desid she wuz afred off wut my dad wold do if he fond ot. I tolled her Im nota lesban and I onely kist Lauren becuz she usde wichkraft and aslo theres nuthin homasexal abot 2 gurls kisen az lon as they hav cloths on. Butt my mom jus sed taht I wuz ron. Butt if she reely thot I wuz a lesban hen the rite thin 2 do wold be 2 sand me 2 on of thos camps that curs homasexalty butt my mom sed that thos camps wold jus turd me in2 a mizorabal drunk liek my Ant Hethor (my dads sitar who wuza lesban until she wented 2 on off thos camps butt nao shes strate evan tho shes a alkaholek). Butt taht dosant maek sens becuz if tha camp mad her a dronk hao did it werk in maken her strate? My mom aslo sed taht at firts she thot God mad me a lesban 2 punash her 4 arguen with my dad b4 ther wedin or 4 preyin 4 a gurl wen she fond ot she wuz preggant withme evan tho my dad wantad anotter boi. Butt aftar talken abot it wither theropist nao she thenks God mad me a lesban asa sine that she neded 2 leev my dad. Obveusly that maks no sens sins bean a lesban is an evul sin and so is divers so I warn my mom taht well both go2 hell and she jus sed shes willen 2 risk that 2 protract me. This well prolly be anotter short chaptar becuz my mom sez I ned 2 sleep becuz well be on the rod al day 2moro. I jus wana go hoem! Im nota lesban!

CHAP 37: INVESHUN OFF SUBSPAS

I gotted Me an Emily an Lucina an Sholk and Plottena and Maryo an Ouija an Daughter Mayo and Patch and Boozoar and Bozo Junyor and Grooselina and Lank and Zetta and Town Lenk and Shaq an Pete and Drake Pit an Mark and Oak and tha Robans an Carby and Kong Dededee and Yodha and Liter Mak and Nos and Sonar togetter 2 atak subspas 2 get tha kee hidan ther. We wented 2 tha porthole and goed insid. Sudanly we wer atak by tha bad guyz! Ther wer lotsa reely powarfel denims and otter bad stuf that we had 2 fite b4 we evan gotted 2 the ultramet oponents. Butt we betted tham and gotted pats the tv scren rome. We noed that tha strongast libruls evar wold be garden teh kee. Sudanly on off tham ateked us. It wuz Meat Nite!!!  
"Yule nevar get tha kee!!!" he sed. He tred hiten us withis sord butt we dogged it.  
"Ur ron!" I sed.   
"No u well DYE!" Mata Nite sed. He turd in2 a toledo 2 try 2 kilus butt we al dogged taht 2. Than Kerby and Keg Dididi hited him with ther hamars becuz ther frum the sam gaem I thenk. We runed farter until we sawed Fax and Flacco.  
"Givup Sara wer anemals taht can talk that provs that anemals can evolv in2 humens and God is ron!" sed Fux.  
"No it dosant ur ron!" I sed.  
"Well beet u and prov Charls Darwen is rite!" sed Falcor. Than thye startad shitten lazors atus! Rozalin throed the star thin at Fix 2 it beeted him up. Than Lital Mike ponched Falko so hared he falled unconshus. Thos 2 gotted 2 fite tham becuz I coldant thenk off anethin eels 4 tham 2 do. Than we runed farthar in2 subspas and fond Waryo and Waloogey.  
"We r tha evul vershans off Marik and Lueji!" sed Waryo "and well defet u in the naem off Lored Stan!!!"  
Butthan Maryo and Loigee and Dr Maro defeted tham bye shatting furballs and pils. Naxt wuz Ganandarf and he brot Gearoham frum Lego off Zalda tha Skiward Sord and teh reely big burd that captared Tun Lenks sitar in Legman of Dezla Wide Wanker.   
"Sara umay off beeted me ons butt not agen!" sed Ganandork. Ton Lank defeted the burd and than Lonk and Zolda and Shrek teemed up 2 defete Ganinsarf and Gerahem. Naxt wuz Capten Felkan expect he brot sum otter badguyz frum Fier Elbam gaems withim (if u no sum badguyz frum thos gams pritend they r ther).  
"U mite be getin closar butt yule nevar defet us!" he sed. So Lucina and Matt and Ick and teh Robans teemed up 2 fite tham and they wan so we cold go farter in2 subspas. Naxt wuz Mattel Fase (pritend he didant dye erlier) and Doktar Egmen.  
"U bluddy wankars wil nevar get tha kee!" sed Meatball Fake.  
"Tahts rite!" sed Dr Oggman. So Sholk and Sonec teemed up 2 defete thos 2 badguys. Naxt we had 2 fite the poakmans. Ther wuz Pacman the leeder off the poakmans and ther wuz Peekacho and Jiglaypof and Chairzar and Lukaro and Grenada.  
"We r tha lats gards b4 Satins ultramet champeon!" sed Pakmen "butt r fathe in evolushun will protract us! Praze Darwen!"  
Palootena fot Pakmon wile Pet and Drak Pete fot Locorio and wile Bowzar fot Shirleyzard and wile Potch fot Jiglaypof and wile Bowzor Junor fot Pikachoo and wile Yosi and Nas fot Grenadine. Son all the poakmans wer defeet.  
"We didit!" sed Emily "nao we onely hav 2 defeet on moar opanent!"  
"Ya butt Pakman sed it wuz Satins greetest warier. It cold be difakolt" I sed.  
"Im shur well be fin" sed Lucina. So we all wented 2 the deppest part off subspas and we sawed the kee flotten in the are.  
"Hello Sara" I herd "I bet u didant expact me 2 be Satins gratest champeon!"  
It wuz my mothra!!! (Orajenally it wuz gona be Lauren with sum noo powars she gotted 2 brake outa prisan butt nao my mom is doen sumthin vary evul liek I sed in my noet and im mad ather)


	38. CHAP 38: MY MOTHOR IZ EVUL

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara fites her mothra.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We wer drivan al day 2day butt were stil not 2 wear wer gona liv. It muts be reely far. Were at anotter hotal nao this tim in Soth Dakkata and my mom sez well hav 2 be reddy 4 anotter antire day on the rod. My mom sed wer a litol lessthan hafway becuz evan tho we onely hav a few moar stats 2 get thro there al reely big. And nao well be driven throo emptyer parts off Amerkia so I thenk it will be muc moar boren. Im vary scare rite nao becuz my mom wans be 2 be a lesban and if I dont obay her Ill be braken on off teh tan comandmints and Ill go2 Hell butt if obay her than Ill go2 Hell 4 bean a lesban. The onely thin Ican do is try 2 get my mom 2 chang he mined butt Iv ben tryen that all day an it isant worken. She sez the fakt taht I hav felons 4 gurls insted off bois maks me a lesban evan tho shes ron and tahts jus a test frum God 2 mak it hardar 2 stey strate and go2 Hevan. Wy wont my mom beleev me?

CHAP 38: MY MITHRA IS EVUL

"Mom wy r u evul?" I aksed.  
"Becuz iv alweys ben worken 4 Lored Satin 2 try 2 mak u a lesban so yule be evul 2 and on day yule tak ovar 4 me asa warier off Stan" she sed. This mad me vary sad. I thot my mom wuz gud butt she wuz reely evul al alon. This wuz jus liek wen I thot Lauren wuz my frend butt she bitray me and nao evan my on mothra bitray me. I wuz vary sad abot this. I startad cryen.  
"Sara we ned 2 get tha bluddy kee or eels God and Jesas wil be captar 4evar!" sed Sholk. I noed he wuz rite butt I wuz stil vary sad abot haven 2 fit my mom.  
"Nao givup Sara so Ican cal Lauren and shecan rap u and maek u a lesban. Hopfully shell rap me 2 and mak me a lesban becuz I hat ur dad and u2 (I jus reeliz my mom sed she cumup with the plan 2 divors my dad and ruan my lief with tha halp off her beast frend frum hi skool and nao wear moven 2 neer wer my moms frend livs nao. Wutif my mom and her r secretely lesban luvers and my moms taken me ther so they can boht rap me. Tahts vary scurry! Not evan Laurens evul majak mad me wana hav sax with my mom)" my mom sed.  
"No Mom I wont givup I ned 2 saev God and Jesas I thot u wer a Christen!" I sed.  
"I wuz lyan abot that ur hole lief!" sed my mom "I akshully wership Satin."  
I startad cryen agen butthan Lucina huged me.  
"Dont worey Sara ucan mov 2 my hose and my mom can be ur noo mom" she sed. That sonded grate.  
"Im not gona let taht hapan ur my dotter and I say u ned 2 stay withme a bee a lesban!" my mom sed.  
"I ges I hav no chose" I sed. I tred 2 fite my mothra butt she had Satin powars and so she wuz much stroner then me. Lukly the Smashars wer abel 2 halp me and with allof us togetter we wer abel 2 beet my mom. Than I caled the polite and they piked her up and taked her 2 prisan. That ment we wer able 2 get tha kee witch we did.  
"Yay! We hav tha kee!" I sed.  
"Theres onely 1 moar left" sed Emily.  
"Butt we hav 2 snek in2 Mastar Hans oface 2 getit" sed Palootana.  
"Ino that sonds dangeros" I sed "butt were so clos 2 getin all tha kees so wecan go 2 Hell and sav God and Jesas."  
We retuned 2 tha Manshan and watted 4 Mastar Hun 2 leev his oface and than we wented insid and garbed tha lats kee.  
"We didit!" I sed. And nao we onely had 2 go2 Hell and defete Satin 2 saev God and Jesas. Or so I thot.  
"GET OUTA MY ORIFICE RITE NAO SARA!!!" Mister Hen wuz bak holden a cup off coffy. Ono! He wuz onley goen on a coffy brake! Sudanly he turd in2 his ultramet farm. MASTERCARD!!!


	39. CHAP 39: MISTER CARE!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara fites Mustard Cure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aftar anotter day were nao in westarn Montena. My mom sez well get 2 ware wer goen 2moro butt well still hav 2 driv moast off the day. She sez wer gona liv sumwere neer Seatol. She aslo sez her frend has three childrans 2 off tham r gurls who r arond my age (on off tham is 2 yers oldar and on is a yeer yungor). She sed her frend dosant thenk ether off tham r lesbans (I dont no wy my mom akted liek Id be disapoint abot that. Im nota lesban and Im gald they arnt so they wont rap me) butt that I shold try 2 be frends with tham evan tho ther not wite. I dont no wat 2 thenk abot that I meen lats tim I trustad sumon who wazant completly wite it wuz Lauren (shes on 4th blak) and she turd ot be evul so maybee my dad wuz rite abot all pepole who arnt wite bean evul. Butt if I dont try 2 be frends with tham than I wont hav aney frends ther so maybe asens r gud unlik blaks so I shold prolly try 2 be frends with tham. Espeshully sins Ill be stayen at there hose at sum pont in tha futur so my mom can tak a plan bak 2 Soth Caralena 2 go 2 cort agents my dad becuz she wants the guvermint 2 steel munny frum him 2 giv 2 her 4 thins liek "alamoney" and "chilled supart". Tahts vary meen off my mom 2 do that. My dad alweys tolled me that alemuny and chiold supert wer evul thins mad bye femanasts do that they cold taek munny frum hared-werkin mans. My mom sed she neds tha munny 2 halp hiar sum privat tudors 4 me so taht Ican spand the rest off this yeer lernin frum tham so Ican ketchup 2 were a gurl my aeg shold be 4 skool naxt yeer becuz noone is gona pay 4 me 2 get gud grads anemore. Is my mom callen me stooped? Shes stooped!

CHAP 39: MATSER CURE!!!

Wen Mister Hanes turd in2 Moister Cord I wuz vary scare. I onely saw vidos off him on yootub I nevar evan fot Mastercard b4. He wuz big and scarey persan and mad off blak stuf.  
"Uve mad me angri 4 tha lats tim Sara!" he sed.   
He shat sum sirkols and than piked up the flor 2 try 2 maek me hit tham butt I dogged it. Than he hedbuttad the grond and his hed turd in2 boms and explod butt it groed bak. Than he tord opan a hole in realty that tred 2 suk me in wile moar sirkols fled bye. Wen I hit him a buncha tims he transform. He wuz a scorpeon than and tred 2 bit me butt I dogged it. Than he did a evul enargy atek thin. He aslo tred 2 poop at me sum evul stuf (Im not evan joken look at tha vido I fond: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LtqiM6u6JM . Its at arond 2 minuets wen he poops). I gotted ot my gun and shat him a buncha tims b4 he turd in2 sum sords. He shat sum sirkols maed off wined atme and I tred 2 dog tham butt thay folowed me arond and hit me. It hirt alot.  
"Ow!" I sed. Than al fiv sords tred slisen me aprat and tat wuz vary har 2 dog 2. I wuz hit and braked thro the wal off the orifice. Tha sords fled aftar me and tred 2 cute me apart butt I shat tham a buncha tims and Mastur Cork transfom agen. This tim he loked liek me butt wuz mad off evul blak stuf. Evul Mastor Cord Me started shatten at me witha gun that loked jus liek my gun. I usde a dore 2 blok tha ballets. And than I shat bak until finelly I wan and than evrythin turd drak and wen lite cam bak Master Karp wuz turd in2 a ball that loked liek a Smash Boll that coldant do anethin.  
"Ono! Im defeet!" he sed.  
"Tats rite and I rool tha manshan nao!" I sed. Sins I wuz the rooler off Nintando wrold nao I caled the polite and thay arestad Mister Curd and taked him 2 prisan.  
"Tat wuz grate!" sed Lucina.  
"U betted Mister Hans ultramet foam!" sed Sholk.  
"Ya and I didant evan ned aney powars furm God 2 doit!" I sed "this provs anethin is passible if u beleev in urself so if u cant sukseed in lief ur jus lazey and noone shold halp u becuz soshalizum is bad!"  
I coldant beleev it. We nao had al sevan kees and cold get in2 Hell 2 sav God and Jesas. Nao we jus had 2 fine tha entrans 2 Hell.  
"Ino were it iz becuz I werked 4 Satin wile I wuz evul" sed Stark Pit "frollo me!"  
So we wented behid tha Manshan and fond a volkano and climed 2 tha tap.  
"This sems liek a plas that Hell wold be" sed Mayro.  
"Rite tha dore 2 Hell iz in this volkano" sed Draco Pete.  
We all jamped in2 the volkano and at tha botom ofit ther wuz a dore with sevan keehols. I putted the kees in and tha dore 2 Hell opaned.  
"Brase urselfs everon" I sed "we ned 2 fite tha final battal agents Satin!"


	40. CHAP 40: JERNEY THRO HELL

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara gos thro Hell 2 fite Santa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Were finely dun driven acros the contry and nao im evan moar disapont. R apartmant is so smal! My rome is smallar then my closat wuz at my oled hose. I didant meat tha gurls my mom wants me 2 meet yet becuz we gotted in a bit eerly and the arnt reddy yet so im writen thus chaptar nao. Ther will prolly onely be 2 or 3 moar chaptars off this storey.

CHAP 40: JORNI THROW HELL

I walped in2 Hell with tha otter Christen Smashars wen sudanly sum denims ateked! They wer reely powarfel butt with tha halp off the Smashars I wuz abel 2 beet tham. Hoevar they jus all reapered aftar we kild tham.  
"Ono!" I sed "sins were in Hell this is were they go wen they dye so if we kill tham thell jus be hear agen!"  
"We hav 2 run!" sed Lucina. So we all runed thro Hell dogging tha demans. We manag 2 get thro the furst few sirkols butt ther wer moar and moar demans and aslo ther wer allof the ded sinars includen all the evul pepole who dyed in my storey and tha lats storey. Sun we wer suronded.  
"Ono! Were in treble!" sed Sholk.  
"No we arnt" I sed.  
"Butt thers 2 maney off tham!" sed Emily.  
"Butt I brot thes!" I sed. I puled ot a buncha smash bals and everon usde there final amish on tha denims and teh sinars. Evan tho it woldant get rid off tham it stil slowed them don. We runed depper in2 Hell and usde final smoshs wenevar ther wer 2 maney demans and evul pepole ataken us. I wuz a lon fite butt son we wer in the sevanth sirkol off Hell. Butt God and Jesas wernt nerby!  
"Isant this wer God and Jesas wer supos 2 be?" sed Lucina.  
"Ya butt they arnt hear!" I sed. Sudanly I notased a dore that wuz big and had anotter keehol.  
"Ono!" I sed "wutif ther behin that dore butt we ned 2 fine anotter kee 2 getin!" I sed.  
"Butt we alredy fot moast off the evul pepole 2 get teh otter kees we ned. Who cold hav teh kee 2 this dore?" sed Matt.  
"Taht wold be me" I turd arond and it wuz Satin himsalf.  
"Tats wer God and Jesas r bean kep captar rite?" I aksed.  
"Tats rite butt u wont be abol 2 sav tham becuz ill get Lauren 2 rap u and than ull be my evul savant" sed Stan.  
"Ill nevar bee a lesban!" I sed "Im strate! Ima Christen!"  
"For nao buttsun ull be a lesban who warships me!" sed Staten.  
"NEVAR!!!" I sed "I BEET U ONS AND ILL DOIT AGEN SATIN!!!"  
"Do u reely thank u can defete me?" Stan sed.  
"Yes she bluddy can u wankar!" sed Sholk.  
"Tats rite!" sed Lucina "I beleev in u Sara!"  
"I beleev in u2!" sed Emily.  
Everone eels sed nise thins 2.  
"This is jus liek last tim!" sed Satin "remamber that last tim I didant stay defeeted wen u beet me and that wuz wen u had powars frum God. Nao u hav nothin that can hirt me! I will concur everthin and mak it evul and librul!"  
"No u wont!" I sed. I onely had on smush bail laft I taked it and becam my angle from 2 fite Satin. He riped of his shurt.  
"DO YOU REELY THINK THAT EVAN UR FINALE SAMSH CAN BEET ME? LUK AT THES MUSSELS! IM THE STRANGEST GUY IN TEH UNIVISION!!!" Satin sed. And tha fetal batol 2 desid the faet off everthin wuz begin.


	41. CHAP 41: SARA FITES SATIN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Teh Fenol battol betwin Sara an Santa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorey I didant updat yesturday I wuz busey. I metted tha gurls that my mom wantad me 2 met. There nams r Ashley an Olivia. Ashley is teh oldar on off tham an she had teh Smat Brots gaem and we plad it butt I lose. Than I tolled her I wuz haven treble unloken carectors so she gotted sum off tham 4 me. She didant evan aks 4 munny 2 do this. Pepole hear r werd. Olivia dosant play vido gaems butt she did invit me 2 go shapen at the mall wither. Evan tho they wer both aslans they akted liek normel gurls they didant evan say R insted off L. And they didant no any marital arfs witches wired becuz I thot asens wer boren noen thos. For sum resin wen I aksed tham if they noed marital arts wen I furst meted tham my mom apologiz 4 me evan tho I didant do anethin ron. Butt Ashley an Olivia sed it wuz ok.
> 
> Aslo evan tho its Sundae Me and my mom didant go2 chirch. My mom sez we ned 2 fin a chirch that wold be ok withme bean a lesban. Butt im nota lesban and aney chirch thats ok with lesbans isant a reel Christen chirch and if we dont go2 chirch well go2 Hell!
> 
> Latsly it tuned ot I didant hav enuf stuf 2 rite 2 maek the endin 2 chaptars so this is tha fenal chaptar. I hop u enjyod tha storey!

CHAP 41: SARA FITS SATIN

"So Sara do u reely think ucan defete me? Im the moast powarfel evul guy ther is!" sed Stan.  
"Yes butt gud alweys trumps ovar evul!" I sed.  
"Tahts wer ur ron!" sed Satin. He runed at me and tred 2 impala me with his pitfork butt I dogged it than he tred 2 do tha sam thin with his honrs butt I dogged that 2. Than I shat holey beems at him butt he spined his potfork arond 2 defrock them. Than he garbed me and throed me in2 sum fiar.  
"Ow!" I sed becuz tha fiar wuz hot. I flyd outa it and putted the flams ot.  
"Givup ull nevar win!" sed Satin "Im 2 powarfel 4 u!"  
"No ur not!" I sed. I puled ot an angle sord and dooled Santa and his bitchfork. I manag 2 get thro his defanses and stab him untel he dyed.  
"Yay! I won!" I sed.  
"Gess agen!" Satin walked in2 the rome agen.  
"Ono!" I sed. I remambered we wer in Hell so wen Satin dyes he wold jus cum hear agen. Hao cold I passibly win?  
"Nao u c wy u cant evar beet me!" Saten sed. I noed I had 2 thank off sumthin becuz if he kild me Id go2 Hevan insted off Hell and than I didant no if I cold get bak. Butt I noed I had 2 fite Satin becuz I wuz the onely 1 who cold defete him.  
"Ill still beet u Staten!" I sed. I shat sum moar holey beems at him butt he bloked tham. Than I flyd in and pinched him a buncha tims.  
"Ow!" He sed. Than I noked his pitdork awey and piked up a roc that wuz on the grond and hit him on the hed withit so hared that he falled in2 a comma butt didant dye.  
"Yay!" I sed "I wan!"  
"Gud job Sara!" sed Lucina.  
"I new u cold bluddy doit!" sed Sholk.  
"U save the wrold!" sed Mart.  
"Way 2 go!" sed Maryo.  
"Nao relees God an Jesas so they can rool Hevan agen and cur al the angles that turd gay and evul" sed Palootena.  
"Rite" I sed. I taked the kee frum the unconshus Satin and unloked the dore. Insid wuz a rome with God and Jesas tyed up.  
"Yay its Sara!" Jesas sed.  
"Hurray unty us!" sed God.  
"Ok" I sed. I taked a nife and cute the rop that tyed tham up.  
"Nao wecan go bak 2 Hevan and undo the damag that Satin did!" sed God.  
"Yay!" I sed. So everthin wuz gud nao.

TEH NED!!!


End file.
